Monday, June 24, 2013

So Much Bigger

Yesterday Hubby and I tried a new church in Rifle (we've had a hard time finding a home fellowship here) and it just so happened that our week to try this church was the one week of the year they have a service out in Rifle State Park with a picnic afterwards.

It was so wonderful to worship out in nature with the trees, river, mountains and canyon surrounding us.  Also, it was a great week to get to know people because of the picnic.  We had lots of time to talk to various members and get a feel for the congregation.

Before we took communion, the pastor encouraged us to have great expectations in Christ as we took part in communion.  He emphasized how much God loves us and how small our scope and expectations of God really is.

As he was speaking, I was convicted on how the Lord's work is so much bigger than I give Him credit for.  I had started to have this conviction last week, and it was just made all the more clear during this call to communion.  When I see the Lord at work, I see how His work and His plans affect me.  His plans ARE SO MUCH BIGGER THAN just how they affect me and my life.  It is NOT all about me.

In my head, I always know this, I would never claim that God's plans are just for my life and purpose and happiness... but in my day to day life, with the stresses and plans and failed plans and revised plans, it is very easy to forget in my heart and in my Spirit that the Lord's scope is So Much Bigger than mine.

I have written recently about my practicum placements and the many struggles I encountered trying to arrange summer O&M practicum placements.  My top five choices for where to spend July would have been something like St. Louis, Nashville, Kansas City, Chicago, Montana.

Instead, the Lord only opened one door for me in July and it is in Tucson, Arizona.  I was grateful for the placement, but to say I am excited to spend JULY in ARIZONA would be a blatant lie.  And yet, I was in prayer the entire time I was trying to arrange my July placements, and so I gratefully accepted the placement in Arizona -- sort of forgetting that maybe something bigger than my life was going into my placement here.

I just found out at the end of last week that my grandmother (my father's step-mother), who lives a few hours from Tucson has gotten progressively sicker in recent weeks, and she is now under Hospice care.

I had plans to see my Grandmother several times while I was in Tucson... but I had no idea that maybe the Lord is sending me to Arizona, for a prolonged period, precisely at this appointed time in order to provide love and comfort and family to His beloved child at this, perhaps, terminal time.

Suddenly, Tucson is the perfect place for me to be in July.  Suddenly, I am excited to get to Arizona.  Suddenly, I am really appreciating that the Lord's plans, His purposes, His scope, His view, His timing is SO MUCH BIGGER, SO MUCH GREATER than mine.

Thank you, Father, for Your plans, and Your purposes, and for all you tie together for good that we will never know or understand.  I love you, and am so grateful that You have a purpose for me larger than my own selfish nature.

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