Friendship

 I've been really contemplating friendship lately... so I googled it.

Turns out, there are some cool google images about friendship... some made most likely by kiddos -- and they hit the nail on the head.

 

Really Fun

Tracey's weekly dance class ended last week, and so this week I invited two dance friends, and their Mamas, and their little brothers over to play outside and have a picnic during the regular dance time.

After that was on the calendar, another friend was in a jam and asked that I watch her son and daughter all day... so, the more the merrier.

It wasn't the warmest day ever... but the sun was out and the kids were happy to jump in and out of our water activities and then sit in the sun, or play in our playhouse.  All in all, we had eleven children and three moms... and it was a really great time.

Two friends had to leave before our picnic, but it was one of the best times I've had with friends and mothers over.

Welcome summer fun...

 

True Friendship

Here was my conversation yesterday with a friend via text:

 

Movie Night

Last night I had a good ole fashioned girls movie night, with a little twist because it was a moms movie night.

I don't know about anyone else, but when I was in high school I would have movie nights with friends at least monthly and sometimes weekly.  They were really simple -- just friends, a good movie, comfy clothes, and some snacks.  It was so much fun and such a nice refreshing time to hang with friends but recharge for the week... and it was inexpensive.

So, earlier this week I texted some mom friends and invited them over for exactly that -- a low-key, moms movie night.  I encouraged them to wear comfy clothes and bring their favorite movie snack and any beverage they wanted and come enjoy a romantic comedy without hubbys or kids.

I had three gals who were able to accept the invitation and it was such a fun night.  I chose five dvds from my collection (three with Meg Ryan, two with Julia Roberts) and then had the gals vote on which we would watch -- they chose You've Got Mail. 

I had some chips and popcorn available and most gals brought their own little movie snack for their own enjoyment, and it was just a really nice time.

We're definitely moms because the movie night started at 7:30, the movie was in before 8:00, and everyone was on their way home shortly after 10.  No late night slumber parties in our lives right now given our responsibilities at home, but everyone really seemed to have a great time.

Something I am trying to balance is how I get more time with other moms without always having children around too.  Having play dates with our kids while we visit is nice, but it isn't nearly as refreshing as getting a cup of coffee with another mom without children.  I would really like to make room for some more adult time in my life when possible, and fun movie nights like this seem like a great way to start that.

I hope we an do it again soon.  It was so nice to decompress with other moms with an inexpensive, relaxing activity, and it was so nice of our husbands to take care of the kids while we all got away for some fun.

 

"Just Wait 'Till The Second"

I've just got to say it...

I find it very condescending when people pass judgement on the way I parent Tracey Ann by the coy off-handed comment, "Just wait 'till the second."

I usually hear this from a variety of other mothers when I:

• tell my mother-in-law that we don't want Tracey Ann to eat yogurt (or whatever the food) because of all the added sugar
• try to keep up with her at children's play places to wipe off the objects before she climbs on them
• mention that we use cloth diapers at home
• take the time to teach her how to interact with her peers in the church nursery

Frankly, I find the comment really condescending.

Are they implying that I will not care as much about the second child as I do the first?  Or perhaps they are suggesting that I should not be caring for Tracey Ann the way that I am, and I will realize my mistake the second time around?  What if I do not have a second child -- you're still implying that I should make a change -- that if I could go back and do it differently, I should.  Either way, its certainly not a compliment about the way I mother.

Now, I know these mothers are not trying to imply all of the above, and they are not trying to insult me... but the fact is, every day, I make thousands of choices, thousands of little decisions that impact Tracey Ann, and, in every choice, I am trying to do what I believe is best for Tracey Ann (period).  First child, second child, twentieth child... I'm simply trying to do what I believe is best for her.

Sure, maybe my methods and opinions will evolve over the years, as I gain more experience parenting, as the world changes, and as, yes, I have more children for whom I am responsible... but let me come to those changes on my own, in my own time.  Don't imply that everything I believe is important, or every decision I make will be different once I have a second one.

 Whatever changes may come, I hope that, when I have more children, and I am talking to a mother of one, I hold my tongue and never say to her, "Just wait 'till the second."