New Tables

 We have two new tables in our new home and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THEM!

You might remember our dining table from past pictures.  I've never talked about it, but it was always a staple for events at our Rifle home.  We would pull mis-mashed chairs around, and attach high chairs, and it served us well for a number of years.

That said, the chairs were falling a part, and we did not have enough chairs for all the people in our family, and we definitely didn't have enough chairs when family or friends came to visit.  I had dreamed of a table with benches for YEARS, but it was never the right time and in our Rifle home, we were never sure exactly what kind of larger table would fit in the space.

When we moved to Rangely, we moved our well-worn table with us to the blue house, where it continued to serve as the place for meals, and homework, and projects, and puzzles.

Once in the big house, we were thrilled with the timing of our moving a few weeks before Thanksgiving in order to shop some Black Friday sales, because were able to find two BEAUTIFUL tables for our new home.  Our old table moved with us and held up for Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas Eve dinner and a Christmas party we hosted... but on December 26, the old table was moved to our sun porch so our new tables could arrive.

One is a very long, sturdy dining table with two benches, four chairs, and two removable leaves.  This is our everyday eating table with room to spare for family or company.

The second one we put in our dining room which is a little smaller, but has one bench, and four chairs.  This also has six drawers around the table -- which is perfect for children to keep pencils, calculators, and scissors inside for homework.  This is our new homework table and I am so excited about it.  We can still convert it to an eating area with very little warning because the children each have their own drawers where the homework gets tucked away, but for daily life when we don't need a second eating room, it works perfectly for the homework room.

These tables (and this home) is a long-awaited Christmas present to Hubby and me, and we are so excited for the way they meet the daily needs of our large family and allow us to plan for entertaining friends without having to pull up folding chairs and have children sit on our laps.

Everything You Can Give

 The lyrics to "Climb Every Mountain" have been bouncing around my head now for about two weeks.

Specifically the part that says,

"A dream that will need all the love you can give

Every day of your life for as long as you live..."

That is what I have.

I absolutely love my six amazing children.  My hubby and they are my favorite in the entire world.  I LOVE my time with them.  I love my days with them, and I tell them that.

That said, it is not easy to take care of them, both physically and emotionally.  I struggle every day hoping and praying that I have given each of them what they need to feel safe and love and welcomed home.  When they spend 9 hours a day away from me at school, I don't like that I know so little about their day.  I try to chissel out the time ti make sure I'm connecting with them and listening to anything they want to tell me about their day and everything I missed.

I absolutely found my dream.  My wonderful Hubby helped me find my dream -- our family... and it does need all the love I can give.

My family takes everything I have to offer... and I absolutely love it.

This is everything I've every wanted -- to have these amazing little blessings and to be so challenged in loving them, and caring for them, and molding them into the amazing people they will become.  To be challenged to raise them to follow what God has planned for their lives.

They truly are a dream that needs everything I can give.

I am the most blessed mama in the world.

So True...

My Dream Job

 

I have learned so much since becoming a mother... and especially a mother of three.

My dream has always been to stay home with my children -- plural.  When Hubby and I had Tracey, there was never even a slight consideration that she would be our only child.  We always knew we wanted a big family, and that did not change when we brought home our first baby.

Then, boy did God bless our desire for a large family -- less than two years after we had our first baby, we had two more.  Three kids in under two years.

 

I cannot stay home with the children 100% full time, as a part of me would love to do... but we are incredibly blessed that I am able to work part-time for my career and be home six days a week.

Being the stay-at-home Mama to three little ones really is my dream-come-true, but this year, I have struggled with the stresses and joys of actually getting my dream job -- staying home with our children.  There are parts of the job that are hard, and there are parts of the job I like less than others and feeling that way made me feel like I was ungrateful for the fact I can be home most of the time.

 

It wasn't until I heard that a friend of mine had accepted a "dream job" in the field of school social work that I wondered what parts of the job would surprise her and not be as fun as she thought.  I have been blessed enough with great jobs in the field of teaching that I know even the best jobs... or dream jobs still have aspects that are unknown and not fun -- the job can still be your dream job even if you don't like a few things about it.

With that realization, I was able to breath a huge sigh of relief and I felt like a weight and cloud lifted off my shoulders.  I don't have to like absolutely everything about my dream job of staying home with my children... but it is still my dream job.

There are things I never expected that are unpleasant parts of my dream job... and I'm allowed to have parts that I dislike -- it is still my dream job.

When I imagined being a stay-at-home mother to young children, there are many unrealistic things that I imagined -- like the fact I would be wearing pearls and heels and have my hair curled and a perfectly cooked homemade dinner for my family on the table every night at five... but I never in my wildest dreams imagined how tired I would be -- a completely new level of tired so much so that there should be another word for it.  T-I-R-E-D does not adequately describe it.

I am allowed to dislike how incredibly tired I am... I still have my dream job.  And, God created our bodies in such an amazing way, my mind and body really have adapted to the lack of sleep and (when I do get sleep) interrupted sleep I now get on a regular basis... I don't walk around like a zombie... I really can function -- but on nights when one or more child has a rough night -- I am allowed to dislike how exhausting that night and the next day is, and still love my dream job.

There was something so freeing in knowing that I didn't have to love every task, every cry, even every day for this to still be my dream job.  Just like with any job, some days, some moments, some tasks fill my heart with more job than I have ever known and I am learning to embrace, love, and thrive in our daily craziness.  Just because I don't love every messy diaper, or the process of potty training doesn't mean that I am not grateful for my dream job of staying home with my three healthy, wonderful, happy, beautiful children.

I hope that makes sense... I'm watching the Olympics while I'm writing this, and Michael Phelps won his fourth gold medal and has another race in a few minutes... and -- like I mentioned -- I'm tired, so this post might be choppier than normal.

May 1

Today is the day I celebrate my sweet Lexie's birthday.

 

Only God knows when she was born... and God does know when she was born, but all I know is when she found me in early June 2008 -- June 7th-ish maybe?, the vet estimated she was about six weeks old.  May 1 worked for me as a birthday.

So today, she's around 8 years old.

My sweet kitty who was the first of my dreams come true.

I dreamed of having several/many children.

I dreamed of becoming a mother.

I dreamed of owning a home.

I dreamed of getting a puppy.

I dreamed of being a wife to a wonderful man.

I dreamed of getting married.

I dreamed of falling madly in love -- the kind of love that becomes a marriage and endures the test of time.

I dreamed of moving to Colorado.

I dreamed of getting a kitten, who was my kitten, my first baby, to be with me to see all the subsequent dreams come true.

Lexie was my first dream come true... and she has witnessed all the subsequent other dreams come true.

Happy Birthday, my sweet Lexie. 

 

My Daughter

If I have heard it once, I've heard it a hundred times regarding child rearing, 

"Boys are easier."

Now, I never grew up with a brother, and I do not yet have a son, so I don't know if that statement is actually true.  What I do know is that I don't care.

A huge life's dream is coming true for me in that I am raising a daughter.

I have always wanted a baby girl.  I wanted a baby sister for years but that was not in God's plan for my life.  I never wanted to rush into having children -- my parents raised me to have the wisdom of understanding the importance of a loving husband, a healthy marriage, financial stability-ish, and a mature mindset before having children, but a raising a daughter has always been one of my my heartfelt dreams.

When I was pregnancy with Tracey Ann, we did not find out her gender, and I was convinced she was a boy.  When she was born and Hubby announced, "IT'S A GIRL!," it literally took days for the knowledge to sink in for me that I actually had a baby girl -- my dream come true.

Now, 21-plus months later, she is a handful, no doubt, but she is still my dream-come-true.  Every time I get to brush her perfect, fine hair; Every time I dress her in skirts and dresses; Every time she plays outside and climbs on everything and her little dresses get dirty and worn, as they should become when worn by a healthy, active one-year-old; Every time I see her twirl around; Every time I see her get excited to watch My Little Pony, which I loved as a kid, I see my dream coming true.

I know we will have tumultuous years ahead.  We will have conflicts as mother and daughter as I try to raise her, as best I can, in a very scary world.  Maybe someday I will agree that, "Boys are easier," but my daughter is my dream-come-true.

I hope we have a son in our family because I would love to see Hubby with a son, and Tracey Ann be loved and protected by a brother -- and if and when we are blessed in that way, I will figure out how to mother a little boy, or two.  But, if both of these twins are girls, I can honestly say I will be nothing but thrilled because I love little girls and have dreamed of having and raising little girls.

I have always dreamed of being a mother... I have always dreamed of raising "a bunch" of children... and I have always dreamed of raising, at least one (maybe more) daughter...

I am beyond humbled as I watch my dreams coming true every day.

Her Younger Siblings

Over the weekend I realized that a dream of mine had come true... just not in the way I had expected.

Ever since Lexie became a big sister (first to Lloyd, and then to Tracey Ann), I had high hopes for her to absolutely love her younger siblings.  I knew she was always going to fondly remember the days when she was the queen and our only pet, but I hoped that, in time, she would sweetly play and cuddle with Lloyd... and then eventually sweetly play and cuddle with Tracey Ann.

This dream has not been realized.  Over the years, she and Lloyd do sort of play together... but Lexie makes sure that we know she is supremely annoyed by his presence... and since he's here, she might as well, begrudgingly play, a little with him, from time to time.  There is definitely no cuddling.

Over the months since Tracey Ann was born, there has been a tolerance... occasionally as Lexie has learned that this new baby has a high rank in our family, and isn't going anywhere... but there is not any playing or cuddling.  Tracey Ann LOVES Lexie and often tries to touch and pet her, and Lexie has never been aggressive towards her... she mostly just runs away.

Well, over the weekend, I saw my dream come true of Lexie lovingly interacting with both Lloyd and Tracey Ann.  They were not playing or cuddling... but Lexie demonstrated great love and respect for both of her younger siblings, and I was overjoyed to see it.

I took a few Christmas card shots over the weekend -- carefully planing a scene to highlight our Christmas nativity scene, family stockings, and hopefully, Lexie, Lloyd and Tracey Ann.  This would have been a difficult picture under any circumstances, but it was especially difficult because Hubby was off hunting, and I was trying to get the shot alone.

After much trial and error, I realized the only way I was going to get any sort of picture that I wanted, I was going to have tie things to the chair... I was going to tie Lloyd, Lexie, and yes, Tracey Ann to the chair.

** This is probably where I should insert a disclaimer that no children or animals were harmed during the making of this picture.  Also, I was monitoring the attitude, and demeanor of both animals and child during the picture.**

No picture was perfect, but a number were very cute and potentially Christmas-card worthy ... although, not the ones I'm posting here... these are some outtakes and some to highlight what a wonderful kitty-cat we have.

What I didn't realize until after the shot was over, however, was that my sweet Lexie, who clearly conveys that she does not really like Lloyd or Tracey Ann did not act aggressively toward either one of them during this photo shoot.

Here, her collar was tied to a chair near both a dog and a baby, and she sat there, tense, but compliant and, in no way violent toward either the dog or the baby.  She never, IN ANY WAY, even implied to become violent toward Lloyd or Tracey Ann, which is just about the best scenario I could have hoped for.

Yes, someday, I would love to see Lexie curled up next to Lloyd, or purring as Tracey Ann pets her, and maybe, Lord Willing, those days are still ahead.  But, for now, I will cherish my little Christmas photo victory, and praise Lexie like crazy for her willingness to show love for her younger siblings.

 

YAY!  I'm so proud!!!

Dreaming...

I am dreaming of a day when I get to stay home with this baby girl all day.

Until then, I will treasure every moment I have with her...