Birthday Pictures

 Here are some pictures from my birthday

How Its Going

 Ten Years later, this is how it's going...

Birth Story Addallee Marigold -- Part 3

7:00am, October 22, 2017: 

We decided to continue with the status quo.

At 8:00am, the midwife and nurses changed shifts and our second midwife seemed a little more down to business in terms of getting the baby born.  The first midwife was very friendly, and the second midwife seemed a little more official.

I went back in the tub for awhile because it was nice to relax and apparently my labor was still progressing even though my contractions were so far apart.  I also tried to squat a lot in the tub.

For the next few hours I went in and out of the tub, and squatted a lot both in and out of the tub.  I had been doing lots of squatting thanks to my Bradley training, so it was very comfortable to just relax and squat for long periods of time.

Eventually I felt like I wanted to push a little at the climax of the contraction.  I told the nurse and midwife, that it was not the uncontrollable "urge to push" that I knew from other labors, but I felt like I was getting there.

They checked my progress again, and I was about nine cm dilated, but the baby was still really high, so we made the decision to break my water.  I really wanted to not have the intervention of their breaking my water this time around (they broke my water with the twins as well), but the midwife felt that the baby was up so high, that she wasn't really putting any pressure on the bag of water, and my contractions were so far apart that the labor could continue a really long time if I didn't let them break the water.

When my water broke, my contractions finally were more regular -- every 4 minutes or so and I started to try to push a little bit with the contractions.

I tried pushing for several contractions, and the midwife was sort of fiddling around, and things were not going well.  I heard someone say something about maybe a shoulder being stuck, I heard something about the head not being in the right position, and then I heard something about there still being a cervical lip.

I had a cervical lip with Tracey and it became a pretty big complication, so I suggested that I take a break from pushing and get in another position (take a knee -- with one knee up, one knee down) to try to get rid of the lip.  The nurses and midwife thought this was a great idea.

From my perspective, I took a knee on the bed, and turned toward Hubby so he was helping me to balance, and I just looked at him and told him I didn't think I could do this.  The times I had tried to push were really painful, and I was scared by the comments I was hearing about maybe the head being in the wrong position or a possible shoulder being stuck.  He told me how great I was doing and how he knew I could do it.

I didn't see this, but Hubby said that when I took the knee, that all the medical staff in the room relaxed and took off their gloves, and were ready to take a few minutes to breathe before I'd go back to pushing.  They recognized that Hubby and I were having a private moment and they just backed off a bit.

As Hubby was talking -- during the 10 seconds that he and I had our private conversation, I had a contraction, during which I had to push... and I pushed the baby's head out.

When I pushed, I used Hubby for support and stood up from my "take a knee" position, and so I was literally standing on the bed, birthing the baby.

Hubby said the medical staff scrambled like crazy to get their gloves back on and get in position to catch the baby -- and since I was in a standing position, I really did need someone to at least guide the baby safely onto the bed so she didn't just fall from so high.

Another push, and she was born, safely on the bed, as I stood over her.

I remember looking down at her, and thinking to myself, 
"what in the world just happened here?"

Birth Story -- Addallee Marigold Part 1

My water broke with Tracey at 38 weeks 5 days, and she was born the next day with about 8 hours of active labor.  I went into labor with the twins at 36 weeks 1 day and they were born about 4 hours later.

 

As a result, I thought I was going to go into labor with Addallee anytime after 36 weeks.  For weeks I would go to bed expecting my water to break, and think about who we would call to watch the kids if I needed to go to the hospital today.  Also, so many people told me how fast labor would go with my third pregnancy, fourth child and so I shouldn't delay getting to the hospital.  Add to that the fact that a bridge in Glenwood Springs was closed during the weeks leading up to my due date, and so we would be dealing with unusual traffic issues and detours to get to the hospital... and one of my closest friends had her baby in the car on the way to the hospital a few months before.  I was on pins and needles for weeks.

Once I made it to 39 weeks, I almost seemed to relax -- this was uncharted territory.  I had never been pregnant that long before, and this baby would come when she was ready.

At 39 weeks 6 days, I started to have some regular contractions during the evening that were making me uncomfortable.  I still did the kids normal bedtime routine with some help from my mom.  I made sure to braid Tracey's hair before bed, just in case we needed to head to the hospital that night.  I got into bed as soon as I could because I was uncomfortable with the contractions, and I knew that laying down would either make them subside, or they would continue, but at least I would be laying down and able to try to relax through them.

Laying in bed, the contractions did not subside.  I began to time them, and they were less than five minutes a part and lasting about 60 seconds in duration.  They were not horribly intense yet, but we had been told not to delay getting to the hospital since it was our fourth child, and so I mentally prepared for our heading out soon.

This was a Saturday, so Hubby hadn't taken a shower that day.  As he was getting ready to climb into bed, I said, he might want to take a shower first.  He asked why, and I said, "In case you have to take me to the hospital."  He asked if I thought there was any reason we should be prepared for that, to which I responded, "Well, maybe.  I've been laying here timing contractions that are 3-5 minutes apart of the last hour, so yeah, you'll probably be taking me soon."  He apparently had no idea that's what I was doing in bed... he just thought I was laying down relaxing.

Once he realized the situation, he was very attentive, and layed with me, rubbing my back during contractions for about twenty minutes to see for himself how frequently they were occurring.  Around 11:00pm, while he took a shower, my mom came to sit with me during contractions, which I thought was really special because she had never actually seen me in labor before or witnessed the relaxation techniques I use to handle the contractions.

A little after midnight, Hubby and I left for the hospital, on exactly my 40 week due date. 

 

Childbirth on TV

Last night I started teaching a new session of Natural Childbirth for Couples, which is something I love to do.  I so enjoy teaching couples about childbirth and helping them connect and work as a team as they head into a huge event like childbirth and parenting.

All that to say, there is a video I love to show in the first class to help couples laugh... but also realize how many of their assumptions about childbirth might be a little off.

Enjoy:

Introducing...

Introducing...

Howard James Miller and Caroline Christine Miller.

Born January 1, 2016, Howard (6lb 9oz) at 8:41am and Caroline (6lb 0oz) at 8:46am, these were the first two babies born in our Valley in 2016.  Mother and babies are doing very well and hope to be home soon.

Here are some fun details:

The Miller twins couldn’t wait to greet the New Year and were born at 8:41am and 8:46am.  Parents Chris and Brooke Miller, of Rifle, arrived at Valley View hospital around 3:00am when Brooke was in early labor.  Once checked in, things progressed quickly and with some notable excitement.  When dialated to 7.5 cm, in active labor, the fire alarm began to squawk.  Reassured by the hospital staff that there was no imminent danger or need to evacuate, labor quickly progressed to 9.5cm when Brooke was preparing to push. 

Standard hospital policy for delivery of twins is for a mother to deliver in the Operating Room just in case an emergency arises.  However, when the labor and delivery staff reported to the operating room to prepare for the Miller delivery, they discovered the reason for the fire alarm – not a fire, but a flood.  A water main had broken in the hospital and the operating room was flooding.  These New Year twins would be birthed in the labor and delivery room.

Instructors of The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth, Brooke and Chris were very hopeful to labor and birth their twins naturally without medication or an epidural.  Both twins were in an excellent position for a natural vaginal delivery, and Obstetrician, Dr. Katie Mang-Smith of Women’s Health and Associates assessed the situation and was able to honor the couples’ desires for a natural, unmedicated delivery.  For many of the nurses present, this was the first twin delivery without an epidural they had ever seen.

Brooke and Chris did not know the gender of either twin before delivery and with great joy, at 8:41am, father Chris announced to the room “It’s a Boy!” followed five minutes later at 8:46am with, “It’s a Girl!”

Howard James Miller (6lbs, 9oz, 20inches long) and Caroline Christine Miller (6lbs, 0oz, 18.5inches long) were healthy, happy, and, to their parents’ delight, here in time for the Michigan Wolverine’s kickoff in the College Football Citrus Bowl, which occurred later that morning.

Howard and Caroline will join big sister, Tracey Ann, who will be two years old later this month, at the Millers’ Rifle home in a few days.  Although their parents missed the 2015 tax deduction, Howard and Caroline were the grateful recipients of a lovely gift box from Valley View Hospital and Women’s Health.  Brooke and Chris remain incredibly thankful to the exceptional staff at Valley View Hospital and Women’s Health and Associates for their wonderful New Year delivery experience.

Bradley Training

I haven't meant to be silent for the past few days, but I have been exhausted!  I have been down in Denver taking classes in how to teach Bradley Method of childbirth, which, if you remember, is the method of natural childbirth that Hubby and I studied and had a wonderful experience with in birthing Tracey Ann.

I have spent the last three months reading, studying, and completing academic assignments... then I've spent the last four days in Denver attending 12 hours of classes a day becoming a Certified Bradley Method instructor.

My mom flew in from Michigan to watch Tracey Ann while I was in classes... and it was a very long few days.  While they were a whirlwind, I learned SO much, made some good friends, and I'm returning to Rifle fully certified as a Provisional Teacher to start teaching Bradley Classes.

A huge thank you to my mom, dad, and Hubby for helping make this training possible for me.  I am so excited to begin teaching expectant parents out here.

Stay tuned...

This Fall

We have a lot going on this fall, just to give you some idea of what is going on in our world.

Hubby is working full time -- which is much more than full time from August-June.  He is also still working on his graduate degree in education administration.

I am working part-time in the job I've had for the past five years -- same job, but less school districts, so its now part-time.  In addition, I have been asked to teach a class at our local community college for their teacher education program.  I will be teaching Child Development, and I am really excited, but I have a lot of work to do to create my class, prepare lectures, and re-familiarize myself with the course materials (it has been a few years since I took this class in graduate school).

In addition to all of that, I am in the process of training to become a Bradley Method of Husband-Coached Childbirth Instructor.  If you remember, Hubby and I had a wonderful experience preparing for Tracey Ann's birth through our Bradley classes, and so I want to make myself available to help other couples prepare in the same wonderful way we did.

I will attend four days of certification classes next week... and I am studying like crazy trying to complete all of my certification assignments before then.  I don't have to have everything done before the workshop... but I would like to.

So, please pray for my time and my speedy study-skills as I study and complete assignments as quickly as possible to complete this certification next week.

How is your fall?

Currently...

Sometimes I don't have the energy to come up with one-of-a-kind blog posts.  On days like those (like today), I'm grateful for some standard questions to get my thoughts going:

Currently I'm...

Loving:  My days home with Tracey Ann -- they are just so precious to me.  Some days we are more productive than others, but I have such a little helper with me for whatever we are doing.  I love how excited she is every day and how she is observing and copying everything she sees.

Reading/Watching:  Reading Husband-Coached Childbirth because I am studying to become a Bradley Method of Childbirth instructor!  I'm also watching -- well several programs -- Dancing with the Stars, and 19 Kids & Counting are two of my favorites at the moment.

Trying to:  Cherish each day of Spring, and each day left to the school year -- trying to not count the days until summer vacation

Wishing:  Tracey Ann were a little more flexible with her daily and nightly routine -- we have some travel plans coming up in May and I'm very nervous about taking her away from our home and the lack of sleep that might result.

Excited for: To see what God is doing in our lives, in our marriage, in our parenting, and with our time and resources, and how He is abundantly providing for us.

How We Prepared For Our Hospital Birth

A few months ago (yikes, where does the time go) I posted as to why Hubby and I chose a hospital birth over a home birth.

As I promised in that post, this is how we prepared for our hospital birth, and choices we made that we feel made the experience very positive, healthy, predictable, and joyful.

The most important thing we did in in preparing for our birth... was PREPARE FOR OUR BIRTH.

Yes, I realize I just said the same thing, and yet I couldn't believe how many first-time pregnant moms with whom I spoke hadn't prepared for the birth.  Sure, they had a beautiful nursery, really cute baby clothes, they had their newborn photo shoot booked... but they had not done any preparation for the BIRTH of their child.  At most maybe they had toured the hospital and decided which room they thought looked most cozy.

Hubby and I prepared for the BIRTH starting seven months before our baby was born, and kept studying up until D-Day.  My body was spending nine months preparing itself for the major event of birth... my mind, spirit, and husband needed to prepare as well.

During my first trimester, I read, Husband-Coached Childbirth by Robert A. Bradley, and Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon.  These books helped me even begin to mentally prepare for what it would mean to give birth and decide if I wanted to try to give birth naturally, and if I thought The Bradley Method would be the right choice for me.

After much research, I found a Bradley instructor in my area and signed Hubby and me up for the twelve-session class beginning in October (our baby was due in February).

The Bradley Classes were amazing, and helped both Hubby and me to prepare for everything from pre-labor, to relaxation techniques, to routine labor, to what to do if unforeseen circumstances arise.  To read more about our Bradley experience see this post or the Bradley Label of the blog posts.

The Bradley Classes involved class sessions, workbook homework assignments, physical homework for both my husband and me, and physical exercises for me to practice.

I had shared the face I was studying the Bradley Method with my OBGYN doctors, but within a month of my due date, I went online and used a few websites to help me actually write out a birth plan.

I used several birth plan websites, but I believe the one from which I drew the most information was  http://www.pregnancyandbaby.com

My birth plan outlined the training I had had, how I planned to handle Labor, Induction and Labor Augmentation, Anesthesia, Cesarean Section Delivery, Delivery, Immediately after the Birth, Newborn Care, Postpartum Care, and Breastfeeding.  Yes, it was not a short document.  It was mostly made up of headings and bullet-points, with some bold for a couple of important details such as "Please do not announce the baby's gender.  My husband will do this when he sees for himself," and "Please do not offer me any anesthesia unless I ask for it."

I then took this birth plan with me to every doctor's appointment I had during my last month of pregnancy and discussed it with each of my doctors.  (When I say "each of my doctors" there are four OBGYNs in the practice, and, by not knowing when the baby would arrive, whichever physician was on call when I delivered the baby would be my doctor.  So, during my last 6 weeks of pregnancy, I had a doctors appointment with each of the four doctors who might delivery the baby.

I thought it would be a pretty simple process, hand off the birth plan, and tell them I'd see them at the birth.  Each and every physician took the birth plan and read through the entire thing, there, in the room with me, as soon as I gave it to them.  They also, each, told me point-by-point the aspects of the birth plan that they did not like.

Although from the same practice, each doctor had different parts of the birth plan that they would not agree to.  It was through this process, that I learned which of the four obstetricians aligned most closely with my plans for childbirth. 

In fact, it was through this process that I learned that the obstetrician that I had been seeing has my primary doctor informed me that would not agree to not offering anesthesia.  There was more to the conversation, which ended with me, sitting in my car, on the phone with Hubby, crying and wondering if home birth was not the better way to go.

Again, it was through my written birth plan, that Hubby and I learned which doctor most closely aligned with and supported our plan for labor and delivery, and we started praying like crazy that she would be on call when the time came for my birth.  God is wonderful, and she was on call the entire time I labored and delivered.

Hubby and I also toured the hospital, which was nice to learn the layout, although I think it benefited Hubby more than it did me.  I didn't do a lot of traveling around the maternity ward once we arrived.

I would say, of everything we did to prepare for our hospital birth, the most important thing Hubby and I did was study together.  For us, it meant Bradley classes, but going into labor and delivery we BOTH felt ready for a test -- we had prepared and studied, both together and a part, and we both had our own roles to play during our final exam.

Hubby knew to stay calm, and relax me, and not let the pain I was in impact his actions and decision making.  It is not uncommon for a woman to be encouraged to get an epidural because her husband is so upset watching her in pain.  He is the one tracking down the nurse and demanding that someone help his wife.  If a husband is acting like that, you better believe, the hospital staff will respond.

We remained very calm, informed, and felt very in control of our hospital birth the entire time.

Feel free to contact me if you have any more questions about the manner in which we prepared for our hospital birth.

Why We Chose A Hospital Birth

I am an old-fashioned person.  I often wear skirts, I bake and can, I want to stay home with my child, I am a homemaker, I prefer natural remedies to treat illnesses and, though Hubby and I are in the field of education, we are praying about possibly homeschooling our children.

I don't think any of my friends or family would have been surprised had I told them Hubby and I were planning a home birth for the birth of our first child.  Some of them may have tried to persuade us to change our minds, but I don't think any of them would have been shocked had that been our decision.  A home birth was NOT our decision.  From the very beginning of our pregnancy, Hubby and I both felt led to plan for, prepare for, and carry out, a hospital birth.

I have known many women who have given birth at home, and all of them highly recommend it, but neither Hubby or I felt inclined to follow their recommendations.  The most common endorsements for it I have heard involve how comfortable the women felt, and what a beautiful experience it was.  I don't doubt their word at all; however, we chose a hospital birth, and we were incredibly pleased with our decision.

Hubby and I prepared for labor and delivery through The Bradley Method of childbirth and we attended twelve weekly classes with three other couples.  We were the ONLY couple in our class who was planning a hospital birth.  I think being in the minority helped Hubby and me to discuss a little more extensively the reasons we did feel strongly about having a hospital birth, but we never felt pressured to change our plan just because the other couples were planning home births.

Here are some of the factors that contributed to our decision to plan for a hospital birth:

•  Hubby and I both have incredible respect for the field of Western medicine.  Both my father and Chris' sister are physicians, and we were raised to trust doctors.
• We not only trust doctors to handle medical emergencies, we also trust doctors to first "do no harm" -- we trusted them to let us have an un-medicated birth as our first choice
• We live 25 miles from the nearest maternity hospital... and that hospital is not equipped to handle high-risk situations.  If we planned a home birth, and, God forbid, something necessitated our getting to a hospital, we would have to rush 25 miles to the nearest hospital... and then possibly be sent 100+ miles on to a hospital that could better handle our emergency.  We didn't want all of that time to elapse in the case of an emergency.
• Many people told us that having a home birth does not make a mess, that the midwives have a great system... but we have a hard time picturing that, and it really seems like it would make a huge mess.

Despite Hubby and I being like-minded on wanting a hospital birth, we did our part to educate ourselves and prepare ourselves to be very active participants in the hospital birth scenario, and I think it was our plan, preparation, and research that led to our wonderful, comfortable, and incredibly fulfilling hospital experience.

In the future, I will post how we prepared for our hospital birth, and what made the experience so comfortable and rewarding.

Tracey Ann Birth Story -- Long Version Finale, Part 6

This is the finale of Tracey Ann's birth story... see the previous 5 parts here.

After 30-45 minutes of continued labor, and increasing urge to push, Dr. Katie checked my cervix and said that the swelling was not improving but  she was going to go ahead and let me push.  She said that I was going to have to work very hard to get the baby's head past my swollen cervix, but I was young, strong, and healthy, and she thought I could do it.

Despite all I learned about different pushing positions during my Bradley classes, I preferred to push laying on my back.  When I was finally able to push with the contractions, it felt good.  I was finally able to be active in the process of labor... although it took some time for me to really get the hang of pushing.

They instructed me to hold my breath and push with my diaphragm for ten seconds, then take another deep breath, hold it and push for another ten seconds, then repeat a third time.  Chris did the counting while I was pushing and this was the protocol they had us repeat with each contraction until the baby was born.

I pushed for about thirty minutes without much happening.  During this time, Dr. Katie took an ice cube and put it inside the finger of a rubber glove and pressed it to the swollen part of my cervix in between contractions.  With each contraction, she tried to push my cervix around the baby's head, but she didn't want to push too hard because I hadn't had an epidural, and she didn't want to cause me too much pain.

After about thirty minutes of pushing without much progress, Dr. Katie suggested I try to squat and push.  That only lasted maybe four contractions as both Dr. Katie and I did not like that position as well as my laying on my back.

Once I laid back on my back, I began to make more progress.  I finally figured out which muscles I needed to engage in order to push the baby... I don't know how anyone with an epidural ever figures out which muscles to engage in pushing.  Once I figured out which muscles to engage, things began to move more quickly and everything became more exciting.  Dr. Katie, Nurse Jackie, and Hubby would excitedly encourage me as I was pushing as they were starting to see the baby's head.

At this point, I had been pushing for about an hour (I started pushing around 6:30pm), and I kept looking at the clock thinking that I hoped I would have the baby by 8:00pm.  As Hubby and the hospital staff was getting more excited, I asked for a mirror to be set up, because I wanted to see what was happening.  I hadn't decided prior to labor if I would want a mirror or not.  I had seen several birthing videos at our Bradley class, and I didn't know how I would feel at that time.  It turned out, I wanted to see what was making them so excited.

As the baby grew closer and close to crowing, Hubby would get excited by what he was seeing and what was about to happen, and he would start counting faster and faster.  He was the one counting for each of my ten seconds of pushing, but he was getting excited, so his counting sped up.  I had to tell him several times to SLOW DOWN the counting because I knew I could keep pushing for a full then seconds, and I wanted to make that progress.

When the baby's head finally began to emerge and I really pushed it out, the rest happened very quickly -- probably only five seconds, but everything happened, for me, in slow motion.

I knew I was delivering the baby's head, but I also had learned that birth is a process -- sort of two steps forward, one step back... literally as the baby is born with each contraction.  When I was delivering the baby's head, I knew I still had the rest of the baby to deliver... and the next thing I knew the baby was on my chest.

What happened in those five seconds was that I delivered the baby's head, then Dr. Katie saw that the umbilical cord was wrapped around the neck and had suddenly tightened as I pushed the baby out.  Dr. Katie immediately worked to clamp and cut the cord (not in my birth plan... but it was necessary for the health of the baby).  Hubby, seeing that the doctor was about to cut the cord, knew that this was supposed to be his job, and put out his hand to take the scissors away from the doctor in an effort to help.  She quickly assured him, he would get a chance to cut something... but get out of her way.  Then she cut the cord and pulled the baby the rest of the way without any more pushing on my part because of the complication which arose (the umbilical cord around the baby's neck).

I heard some of what the doctor was saying, and definitely was aware that Chris tried to take the scissors from the doctor, but I wasn't aware of the actual complication of the baby being strangled by the umbilical cord (thank goodness!).  I would find out later that the baby's vitals had been so good throughout all of labor and delivery that they suspected that the cord just pulled tightly around the neck when I gave that big push to deliver the head.

Suddenly the baby was on my chest and all pain from the labor and delivery was over.  The nurse immediately came over and started suctioning the baby to make sure it was breathing and responding in a healthy way.

Hubby was a ball of emotions.  He was cheering me on, holding my hand, kissing me, crying, trying to keep his voice from cracking all while the baby was being born.  Once the baby arrived we were both so happy and overjoyed and proud of each other -- and we completely forgot that we didn't know if we had had a boy or a girl.

Thankfully the hospital staff knew that our birth plan included that Hubby would be the one to look at the baby and announce to me whether we had a son or a daughter.  The doctor then looked at Chris and reminded him that we didn't know what the baby was.  We both laughed, and were surprised to realize that we had forgotten.  We had so much joy in having our baby, we didn't care if it was a boy or a girl therefore, we had forgotten to check.

Chris looked at the baby on my chest and, through tears and a croaking voice, announced, "It's a GIRL!"

I couldn't believe it.  I was SURE we were having a boy.

Immediately after Hubby announced that we had a daughter, the nurse took the baby over to the warmer (not in our birth plan) because the nurse wasn't happy with her breathing yet.

She let our her first cry 59 seconds after being born... at 60 seconds, she would have had a lower APGAR score.  The hospital staff worked as quickly as possible to make sure that her airway was safe and clear and get her back to my chest as soon as possible.  I made my 8:00pm deadline... she was born at 7:56pm.

Meanwhile Dr. Katie worked to take care of my body what with the trauma of giving birth.  I actually had to ask the hospital staff to move the mirror that had been set up so I could watch the baby's birth... I didn't need to see the repair.

Without sharing too many details (I know... I've already shared too many details), I did have some complications because of the swollen cervix which led to a few complications in recovery, but I am SO grateful that our doctor honored my birth plan and let me have a natural delivery despite this complication.  I didn't even notice delivering the placenta -- the doctor had to tell me it was over... I never felt a thing.  I did feel the repair, and Dr. Katie said I could have some narcotics to help with the discomfort of the repair if I wanted it.  I had just endured natural childbirth in order to keep drugs out of my baby's system... I didn't need any narcotics to work their way into my first batch of breast milk.  I politely declined the offer of narcotics, and just kept breathing deeply, and focusing on my brand new baby during the repair.

Before the baby came back to my chest, the nurse asked if we had a name... and Chris and I looked at each other, and Chris said, "Is she Tracey Ann?"
I responded, "Yup.  I think she's Tracey Ann."

We then shared with the doctors and nurses why her name was Tracey Ann and for whom in our family she was named.

Tracey Ann came back to my chest, skin-to-skin, where I think she might have stayed for nearly the next hour.  She immediately began to nurse and she knew exactly what she was doing.  I was in awe of what she naturally knew what to do because I had no clue what I was doing, but she had no problems.  Chris put Josh Groban radio back on for us to listen to (which is what we listened to as I started my labor) so we came full circle.  I kept looking at Tracey Ann, and then looking up at Chris and having the same conversation over and over.
Me:  I can't believe I did it.
Hubby:  I knew you could do it.
Me:  I couldn't have done it without you.

I sent Chris out to see my poor parents in the waiting room to tell them that they had a healthy grandchild, and we would bring them in as soon as we could to tell them if it was a boy or a girl.

Well, that is our Tracey Ann's birth story.  I will post more about how we told our family that it was a girl, and about our hospital stay and first days as a family... but that is her birth story made possible by Bradley Childbirth classes, and my wonderful husband.

Tracey Ann Birth Story -- Long Version Part 5

Yeah... you can't say I didn't warn you.  "Long Version" is right there in the title of these posts I've been writing, and I've been trying to keep each segment a not-too-long readable length, but I really have to wrap up Tracey Ann's birth story.  Check out the first four parts of the story here.

Out of the bathtub, after four or so hours of intense labor, Dr. Katie checked my cervix and said I was dilated to ten centimeters, but there was a problem.  She said that the circle that was my cervix, the back was open at ten centimeters, but the front was swollen, and so it was not ten centimeters.

She cautioned me not to push, because that could cause the cervix to swell even more, which would make the opening less open that it was now.  She suggested I spend a little more time laboring, but encouraged me to try different positions.  So, I squatted at the edge of my bed, and got down on one knee and labored through more contractions.  At this point, I looked at the nurse and said something like, "I guess I have made it through the window of requesting drugs, haven't I?"  And she looked at me, sort of puzzled, and asked if I wanted drugs.  I said that no, I didn't, but if I was dilated to 10 cm, it was comforting to know that I made it through the window when I could ask for them.

I don't remember much about the labor during this time, but I remember, as one contraction began, Chris couldn't reach my back, which he had been lightly rubbing with every contraction, and so he lightly rubbed my neck instead -- really. bad. move.  I didn't have the words to say, "Hubby, please don't touch my neck right now."  Instead, I grabbed his hand with my fingers, and violently removed them from my neck while I verbally let out a sound that was an interesting combination of a growl and a roar.  My poor Hubby got the message, and did not try to touch my neck again during labor.  Come to think of it, I don't think he has touched my neck since.

The other thing I remember is that the doctor got an ice pack and held it in the small of my back during contractions.  She said, it was an old wives tale, that this could help, but she didn't see any harm in helping things along with a natural remedy.  Chris told me later something about the baby turning when Dr. Katie did this, and the baby was then in a better position to be born, but I don't remember any discussion to that effect.

After 30-45 minutes of continued labor, and increasing urge to push, Dr. Katie checked my cervix and said that the swelling was not improving and she was going to go ahead and let me push.

** Side note: I would later find out that this condition of a swollen cervix might have been cause for another doctor to recommend/insist upon an epidural and/or a C-section, but we were incredibly blessed with Dr. Katie allowing us to proceed with a natural birth despite this complication. **

I promise, the next post will be the birth story finale.

Tracey Ann's Birth Story -- Long Version Part 4

See the rest of the story in Parts 1, 2, and 3.

At 3:00, I wanted to try to labor in the bathtub.  This hospital was equipped with a really nice, deep bath tub, with jets.  They weren't set up for women to deliver in the tubs, but encouraged women to labor there.  In order to get in the tub, they had to take me off the pitocin, and the portable contraction monitor.  I was having very regular, strong contractions, so they were hopeful that these would continue after removing the pitocon -- they did.  Nurse Jacquie also said that she could bring a doppler in every so often to check the baby's heart rate -- but she was doing so well, that she didn't anticipate any problem with my laboring in the tub.

In the tub, I really got the hang of relaxing into my contractions, and definitely found my "zone".  The contractions were VERY intense, and I laid on my side in the tub with the jets going.  At this point, I was moaning through the contractions, and they were beginning to come two minutes apart (and lasting about 60-90 seconds apiece... so that left 30-60 seconds rest from the contraction ending to another one starting).

At this point, the most difficult part became wondering how long this was going to last.   I was in my zone and I was dealing with the contractions... but they were unbelievably difficult, and I wanted to know how many more I had to get through.  I could make it another hour... or more -- but another eight or more hours was not going to work for me.  When the contractions were getting especially difficult, Hubby told me to make it through six more contractions and they we would have the nurse check me.

Making it through the next six contractions were hard, but at least I was counting down... one more contraction closer to someone checking me.  Another contraction closer to someone checking me.  Then, even after I made it to six contractions, it was another two contractions before I was out of the tub and someone was there to check me.

I was seven centimeters.  So, back in the tub I went, this time laying on my other side.  (And this is when Hubby called my parents and suggested that they might want to come to the hospital... things were moving along.)

While I was in the tub, Hubby and I went back in the zone for some more time -- maybe another hour... maybe longer?  At this point, I was completely incoherent.  Hubby later told me that I was speaking as though I was drunk.  He said I was slurring my words and having a hard time finding the words that I wanted.  All I remember saying at all during this time were single words -- "Contraction."  "Count."  "Bubbles."

"Contraction" was what I said to let Chris know there was another contraction.  "Count" was what I said if Chris either wasn't counting for me... or if I couldn't hear him counting.  "Bubbles" was what I said for the bathtub jets.  A couple of times Dr. Katie or Nurse Jacquie came in to say something to us, and Hubby turned off the jets for me to hear what they were saying.  Every time a contraction came, I needed the jets back on.  I don't know that it was so much that they felt good, but the sound of them helped get me through the pain.  The hum of the engine and the stirring of the turbulent water turned out to help me relax along with Hubby's counting and rubbing.

Throughout the entire labor, but especially during this most intense time, Hubby was the liaison between the nurse/doctor and myself.  Various medical personnel poked their head into the bathroom from time to time, and Hubby always talked to them.  Sometimes he asked them questions I had asked him; sometimes he relayed what they said to me... but I was not the one having any real conversation or exchange of information with anyone at this point.

Eventually, the intensity of my contractions changed and I began to have the urge to push during the climax of my contractions.  At this point, I told Chris that I wanted to be checked again.  Dr. Katie came in to check me and said she would be able to check me best if I got out of the tub and onto the hospital bed.  So out of the tub, and onto the bed.

When Dr. Katie checked my cervix, she said I was at ten centimeters, but there was a complication...

Tracey Ann's Birth Story -- Long Version Part 3

For the first two parts of this incredibly long version of Tracey Ann's birth story, see Part 1 and Part 2.

Hubby and I arrived at the hospital around 10:00am, and I was still gushing water at times (traveling with a doggy accident pad), and no sign of contractions.

We had pre-registered with the hospital, so we arrived and began the process of settling in.  Our nurse's name was Jacquie and she was very sweet -- by the end of our journey, we were in love with her!!!  The next hour was spent getting into a gown, listening to the baby's heart rate on a fetal monitor, being hooked up to a mobile contraction monitor, getting blood drawn, and getting an IV port (heparin lock) inserted in case I needed any sort of IV at some point.

Our doctor, Dr. Katie, came in and said I was dilated 3 cm, and then we discussed our options for getting labor started.  She said we had three options.  As an aside, we LOVED our doctor.  There were 4 doctors in our practice, and, unless I had a C-section scheduled, whichever doctor was on call was going to be my physician.  As a result, the practice made sure that I had an appointment with each of their physicians in my last trimester of pregnancy.  During my time meeting all the doctors, I actually came to prefer Dr. Katie more than my original doctor, who I had seen for the past seven months.  Hubby and I were THRILLED, and praising God when we learned that Dr. Katie was on call when we arrived at the hospital, and would remain on call until the following morning at 7:00am.  Dr. Katie said was had three options to instigate my contractions.

1. Since the baby's heart rate was steady and healthy, we could try to induce labor naturally a little longer -- walking, nipple stimulation, etc.
2. We could start pitocin through my IV in an effort to jump start my body into active labor.  This would involve being hooked up to an IV, and the nurses monitoring the baby's heart rate periodically.  The hope here would be that after a low dose of pitocin that my body would jump-start into labor and I could be weened off pitocin and continue with labor naturally.
3. A mechanical apparatus that is designed to physically stimulate my cervix into opening thereby inducing labor.

At 11:00, we decided we would try to induce labor naturally for an hour or so, and we could always come back to one of the other options if our home remedies didn't work.  I started pacing around our room and a few minor contractions resulted, but when I stopped walking, the contractions always stopped.  At 12:30, we decided to rest and eat the lunch the hospital delivered because at 1:00, the doctor was coming back in and we were ready to try pitocin.

 At 1:00, Dr. Katie and Nurse Jacquie started a low dose of pitocin in my IV.  I started at 2 units, and they said they would increase the dose by 2 units every 15 minutes.  Well, that worked for the first 15 minutes, but by the time they returned at the 30 minutes mark, I asked if she could only increase by 1 unit.  Within 5 minutes of their starting my pitocin, my body definitely got the message to begin contractions.

I only made it up to 6 units of pitocin, and my body was in full-scale active labor.  When the pitocin first started, I was up and walking around, but within minutes, I was trying different laboring positions and Hubby had to begin his Bradley Coaching of trying to get me to relax during contractions.  Not to over-share, but the position that ended up working best for me for a little while was on the toilet.

In hindsight, these two hours with pitocin, and time on the toilet was the toughest part of my labor.  It was during this time that I told Chris I didn't really want to do this any more.  I told him that even with all the training I had had for natural childbirth, numbness was sounding really good right now.  He kept telling me that I was doing great, and that I could definitely do it.  I told him that even if I could do it... I DIDN'T WANT TO ANYMORE.  At one point I told him that we should get my Bradley teacher on the phone so she could remind me why I wanted to do this naturally.

It was hard to relax through the contractions on the toilet, and Chris and I were still finding our rhythm of what worked to get me through each contraction.  I was finding that I did best when Chris counted through the contractions.  Nothing fancy, just steady, slow counting through each contraction.  And, rubbing my back very lightly.  Also, the Josh Groban radio station on Pandora, and that was the combination we would find that worked the best -- counting, light rubbing of my back, and Josh Groban radio... but we were still figuring out that combination while I was laboring on the toilet with pitocin.

All I knew at this point was labor was not fun, and I didn't want to do it anymore.  I didn't know how long the labor would last, I was not comfortable, I was not able to relax like I had practiced, and I didn't care how much Hubby and I had practiced for a natural labor and delivery, I was ready to throw in the towel...

Tracey Ann's Birth Story -- Short Version

Here is the short version of how our wonderful Tracey Ann came into the world on Friday, January 24, 2014.

My parents arrived from Michigan on Thursday afternoon, January 23, and I had dinner with the two of them while Hubby worked late.  I was exhausted and went to bed around 8:00pm, just as Hubby got home from work.  My water broke at 8:30pm.

My contractions didn't start after my water broke, so Hubby and I tried to get some sleep.  We had called the on-call obstetrician to let her know my water had broken.  We spoke with her Thursday night, and then she called us back Friday morning before she went off-duty to find out how we were doing.  Since my contractions still hadn't started, she recommended that we come into the hospital.

Hubby and I arrived at the hospital mid-morning, and my labor still wouldn't get going.  Finally, at 1:00pm, we made the decision to start some pitocin, with the intention of trying to get off the medicine as soon as possible, hoping that my body would continue in labor after the pitocin was stopped.

The light dose of pitocin worked beautifully, and I was in major labor, and off the pitocin by 3:00.

For me, the best place/position to labor was on my side, in the bathtub with jets going.  Using the Bradley Method training Hubby and I had learned, it was definitely a team effort to help me relax through the contractions.  I definitely told Hubby, on several occasions, that I wasn't sure I could keep going.  He reminded me every time how well I was doing, and that I could do it.

Around 6:30pm, they let me start pushing, and Tracey Ann was born at 7:56pm.

There is MUCH more to the story than what I have shared here... but those details will have to wait for the Long Version, which I will post another day.

The Bradley Method

In time, I will be sure to post Tracey Ann's birth story.  I will probably post a long version, with a lot of details, and then a short version for the Cliff Notes population.  Before I post either of these, however, I need to talk a little about the Bradley Method of Husband Coached Childbirth.

Hubby and I were first introduced to the Bradley Method by friends of mine from college.  They were expecting their first baby long before Tracey Ann was a twinkle in her daddy's eye.  The wife is a nurse and talked our ear off about the benefits of the Bradley Method of childbirth. 

When hubby and I found out we were pregnant 10 months later, this couple was one of my first calls.  And, within a few weeks, a package with a lot of Bradley Method reading material had been delivered to me from this couple.

In no time at all, hubby and I were sold on the merits of the Bradley Method, and we had signed up for a twelve-week class in Carbondale the upcoming fall.

The Bradley method of childbirth is based the observations of a doctor from the 1950s who studied how animals give birth, without anesthesia and without Caesareans.  At a time in our history when nearly all women were majorly drugged, and/or strapped to the table in order to give birth, this Dr. explored the possibility of natural, un-medicated childbirth.

Not long into his studies, this doctor discovered the importance, not only of husbands presence in the delivery room, but as their wife's labor coach for women to give birth naturally.  This doctor's philosophy was that women can definitely give birth naturally, if they have learned what to expect and how to handle the discomfort.  Furthermore, their husbands are instrumental in coaching them through the process of labor and delivery.  The husband, after all, knows the expectant mother better than anyone and this child is a culmination of their love for one another. The best  coach for natural labor is the husband.  

In order to prepare for labor, both husband and wife need to undergo 12 weeks of classes to prepare.  Bradley Method classes include information about pregnancy and labor, practice of relaxation for labor, learning how to support the mother during labor, and preparation for the baby's arrival.

The philosophy behind the Bradley Method believes that if a woman can relax through her contractions, her uterus will do the job it's designed to do with less discomfort than when a woman tenses up with every contraction.  The husband is instrumental in helping the wife relax through these contractions, and serves as a liaison for his wife and the medical staff during her labor and delivery.

I will write about Tracey Ann's birth story soon, but before I do, I will say Chris and I were very incredibly pleased with our experience of labor and delivery with the preparation the Bradley Method classes provided us.  We went into labor feeling incredibly prepared, knowing how to support each other, and feeling knowledgeable about what things in labor are normal and what are cause for concern.

I was able to give birth to Tracy Ann without an epidural, and it never would've been possible without my husband and the Bradley Method we had studied.

If you're interested in additional information about the Bradley method visit this website or read the below book.

 

 

Honestly...

Hubby and I are SO happy right now.  We feel like the most blessed, lucky, fortunate, most-loved of God's children on the face of the earth.  I don't want there to be any doubt in anyone's mind about how incredibly happy we are -- both as a couple in our marriage, and about our little baby.

That being said, I don't want to go through this entire pregnancy without documenting the incredible fear, uncertainty, and feelings of being overwhelmed I am struggling with and praying about throughout these nine months.

• Chris and I are going to be responsible for a human life -- a brand new, helpless, growing, baby-becoming-an-adult person, human life.  THAT IS HUGE!
• We have no idea how we're going to afford a baby
• Sometimes I catch myself having the same thoughts I have had for years... "Someday, when we have a baby ... (insert whatever the situation)"  Then, I realize that ready or not, that someday of our having a baby is now!  We already have a baby... and we will be meeting that baby in a matter of months.
• I absolutely love being married to Chris -- it took me 26 years to find him, and we've only had some 28 months of marriage just the two of us -- now we're suddenly not just husband and wife, we are mother and father.  What is that going to do to this amazing relationship I have come to love and feel so comfortable in?  We will never be just the two of us again.  I am struggling to be okay with the idea that our perfect little two-person family is ending.
• Our days of being selfish are over.  They have to be.  We love to travel, and play, and relax, and enjoy our hobbies, and try new things, and live in the mountains... and the list goes on and on.  Suddenly, we are responsible for the life of our child.  All of our decisions -- large and small -- have to revolve around the best interest of this baby.
• Childbirth is scary.  We are in classes to prepare for natural childbirth (The Bradley Method), and I am now doing exercises to prepare, and I know when the time comes, I will be relatively ready for it -- but childbirth is a scary idea.  Not only is the process something I have never done before -- but when it's over, it's just the BEGINNING of something else I've never done before -- I become the mother of a baby!!!
• I like to sleep and my husband LOVES to sleep.  I hear that babies don't really let you do that very often.

I can't emphasize this enough -- life as Hubby and I know it is about to be over -- and the unknowns ahead are endless.  We are so blessed to be expecting this baby... and I want to focus on the blessing and the excitement on this blog... but the truth is, more often than not, I am very scared of this change.  I feel unprepared for this life change.  I feel inadequate for the task ahead.  I feel overwhelmed at the responsibility ahead and the changes that will need to occur.

Most days, I really love being pregnant -- but that doesn't mean I feel excited, or even ready, for motherhood.

Chris and I have complete faith that his baby is a gift from the Lord, and he/she has been perfectly knit together in my womb.  We absolutely believe that God's timing is perfect, and that we can do all things through Him who strengthens us.  We believe we are called to be parents, and apparently, we are called to be parents right now.  We have faith that the Lord will guide us through every decision and change ahead of us, and He will provide for all of our needs.

All of that being said... I try to focus on the excitement and blessing of this pregnancy, because daily I am praying about my fear and uncertainty.