Warheads

The other night, we pulled out all of the Warheads that our kids got in their Halloween buckets and everyone in our family tried one.  Warheads are very sour candies.

It was pretty fun.  Here are some still shots taken from the videos we recorded...

 

 

We Conquer

We Conquer

Growing Pains

About two months ago (give or take... sometimes my weeks and months run together and I lose track of time) Howard was driving me absolutely crazy.  Everything we asked him to do, he refused and ran away laughing.  It felt like he was getting in trouble all day every day.  I felt like all I was doing was disciplining him and reiterating rules that he already and knew and enforcing boundaries that he should have already known.

Then, one day he was my sweet little boy again.  It was like he literally grew out of it overnight, and it was no longer testing every boundary, and he was such a joy again.

It was then that I developed a new appreciation for the term "growing pains."  During those weeks of testing every limit I set for him, Howard was indeed growing and developing... and it was a pain everyday -- he was a pain everyday.  But I wanted to try to remember that situation because there was an end result to the challenging behaviors -- he was growing through them.  I wanted to remember the growing piece the next time one of my children went through a period of growth... and thus, a period of becoming a pain.

Well, after a months hiatus and enjoying my children, now Tracey is developing some behaviors that are driving me crazy.  I have taken to saying at the end of the day, "Tracey was especially four today."  In this situation, I need to remember that in every pain that is occurring right now... she is growing through each and every one.  These behaviors will not last forever and when we come through this season of pains, she will have grown.

What's Going On

I don't really want to write this post, but for better or worse, this blog has sort of become a record and family history of our Hubby and my journey together, so without revealing specifics, I do want to share some of what's going on in our life right now.

Hubby and I received some medical news a few days ago that may turn out to be nothing, and may turn out to be something pretty big.  We are just processing things and praying and making appointments to gain more information and get a firm diagnosis as fast as possible.  That being said, we really don't know anything yet... we just know we need to get more testing done.

So, we've been on a roller coaster the past few days, and Hubby has still been trying to complete graduate work like a madman -- so things are a little stressful around here.

All that to say, a neighbor brought me food last night.  She was very sweet and brought me two big pans of enchiladas and cookies.  It was very very nice of her, but as soon as I accepted the food, the first thought in my head was, 

"Wow... someone is bringing me food... this really must be a big deal and bad news if people are starting to bring me food."

The truth is, most of the time I think I'm fine, and I'm not having trouble trusting God until I say something out loud -- like when I tell Hubby about the research I've done, or tell my parents about a doctor's appointment, and then I get choked up... which is weird because I just read this stuff twenty minutes ago and I had no emotional reaction at all, but now when I'm saying it out loud, I'm getting emotional.

Also, this is the first time that I'm getting calls and texts from family and friends reaching out to me to check in on us.  It is also the first time that I'm feeling the need to turn off my phone at certain points, because I just need a little break from all the other people wanting to talk about this right now.  Sometimes I want to talk -- sometimes I want to ignore the text messages on my phone, cuddle with my kids and watch Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood without thinking about this situation that we don't actually know what's going on yet.

Most of the time, I am not emotional at all because we really don't know the facts yet, and it doesn't make a lot of sense in my head to become emotional when we don't know the facts... at least that's how I feel most of the time... ask me again in five minutes and you might get a different answer. 

So please keep us in your prayers knowing that God knows all of the specifics and so your general prayers for our family are perfect and very much appreciated.

 

Verse For Today

This is on my heart today and it is my prayer for anyone reading this as well...

 

Gratitude: Day 1

For most of the remainder of July I will be in Tucson, Arizona... alone... completing practicum teaching hours... in the heat.

I absolutely HATE that I will be away from my husband for 20 days.
I hate that I have to complete my comprehensive O&M exams during my first week at this new and initial practicum placement.
I hate that Tucson is so incredibly hot in July.
I hate that I cannot blink like I Dream of Jeannie and these 20 days would be over.

I anticipate a strong possibility that my blog could become a very negative place in the next 20 days, and so I plan to make a very conscious effort to focus on gratitude during these 20 days.

Even if it is only a memory, I am SURE I can find one thing each day for which to be grateful, and hopefully there will be many more things than one per day.

Please keep me in prayer during this difficult season, and feel free to join me in making a conscious effort to focus on gratitude in your life during these 20 days.

Brooke the Driven

 I have never met anyone that can get so much done in so little time.

By noon, Brooke has cleaned the kitchen, folded laundry, transcribed some braille, taught a blind person how to decipher little bumps on a page for meaning, helped a few kids in three or four different schools, and driven 200 miles!! (I said she was driven, literally)

And that is just half of a normal day.

By the time I come home from work, she has re-written normal worksheets and whole books into Braille, fed the animals, made my lunch for the next day, made dinner (and sometimes dessert), picked up the dry cleaning, done an hour workout, cleaned up whatever part of the house she didn't finish before she left work at 5:00 in the morning and the messes I made before I went to work, completed her assignments for grad school, and most days, written an elegant blog post. 

I just went to work.

Brooke will not rest until she has completed each task for the day.  She amazes me with all that she gets done.  Sometimes it drives me crazy because I just want my wife to stop what she's doing and snuggle up with me, so I make her quit projects sometimes so we can spend time together. 

Brooke started grad school again, so she can be more equipped to help people who have visual impairments.  I have no doubt that she is going to ace every test, complete every assignment early, and amaze her professors with her brilliance.

Brooke succeeds in everything she does because my wife, Brooke Sanden Miller, is driven.

Happy Birthday Week, Brooke the Driven!


(Please read yesterday's post as it was posted late
(I know, I am not as punctual as my wife))

Chris' - The Streak is Broken

Every great run comes to an end.  This is a reality.  However, it wasn't supposed to happen until years down the road when we surpassed the total World Series wins of the overpaid Yankees.

Yes, last night the Cardinals lost to the Giants. They didn't just loose, they were stomped.
They had some hits, but failed to score a single run.  In fact, they only scored one run in the last three games!

They only had to win one of the last 3 games, but they choked.  They started the series off winning 3 of 4 games, then they couldn't pull it together.

Going back to the amazing World Series win of last year, we had won 6 straight elimination games.  Yesterday that streak was broken.

We were excited for a St. Louis/Detroit World Series, but we will just have to hold on to the memory of beating Detroit in 2006.

The Cardinals are mourning.
St. Louis is mourning.
Half of the Miller house is mourning.

Some kid came up to me this morning to give me a box of Kleenex.
Brat.

But she was right, we'll get them next year.
At least we haven't had to wait over a hundred years like Cub fans.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

When I look back on the days of my life, I want to remember struggles and successes.

I want to remember trials and triumphs.

I want to remember challenges and victories.

I want to remember dissonance and resolution.

That being said, I am possibly starting another graduate certification in January and, as of now, it is not fully determined when I will complete the program.  It is outlined when I will complete the course work, but the practicum hours are still unclear.  Some of my colleagues, others in my field, have started programs and not finished -- pressed pause in the middle because of scheduling or financial factors -- and then picked up at a later date.  I cannot do that.  I refuse to start a program without an ending in sight.  It is just not my nature to begin something as big as a graduate certification without an end point in mind, and an outline of how I'm going to get there.

I want a light at the end of the tunnel, so I can focus on the light when I'm in the trenches.

Source: s824.photobucket.com via ♫ on Pinterest

The problem is, when the struggles, trials, challenges, and dissonance of life arrive, there is no end point in mind, and no light at the end of the tunnel.  When I find myself in the challenges of life -- the struggles, I want to come through and the trials I know will lead to a beautiful life, a stronger faith and a strength of character, there is no plan for when the challenge will be completed.

How do you say, "It will be okay," when you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel?
More than that, how do you believe, "It will be okay," when you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel?

A Prayer Walk

I love to go on walks.

I don't think about walking as exercise because its just so darn enjoyable.  Walking in the woods, walking in a city, walking the dog, walking with friends, walking with music, walking with an audio book, walking on a cool morning or in the heat of the day, I LOVE walking.

This past weekend I took a different kind of walk than my usual talking on the phone or listening to music walk.  This past weekend, I was upset, and I took a prayer walk.

via

 This past weekend, I was feeling upset, overwhelmed, angry, discouraged, blind-sided, etc.  I knew I needed to take all of my hurt before God and if I stayed home, on my knees, I was going to cry and cry and cry -- it was just one of those days, and one of those situations.

I didn't want to cry and cry and cry, but I knew I had to take my feelings before the Lord.

On a prayer walk, my heart rate increases, and I get out-of-breath, like when I cry, but I don't have the breath or the energy to cry, because I'm working up a sweat.  I find the same release through walking as I would get crying, but I feel much better walking than I do crying.

And... since my walk is 3 miles (with Lloyd), a beautiful thing happens during that hour walk.

Lloyd and I were not half way through our route when I had all my pain and discouragement off my chest, and my heart began to change.  I began to thank God for his challenges.  I thanked Him for the chance to face this challenge with my husband.  I thanked Him for the time to correct the situation.  I thanked Him for standing with us in this situation and leading us through the days to come.

As I thanked Him, near the middle of my walk, I really was grateful for the challenge ahead.  I wasn't just offering empty thanks, but I really had a new perspective on this, previously upsetting, situation.

via

By the time I got home, I was pretty excited to see what the upcoming weeks would bring and how God was going to lead Hubby and me through this challenge.

When I'm upset, I need to remember how beautiful a Prayer Walk is.

Treasuring the Present: Healthy, Red Hair (Any Length)

Thank you for all the photo editing help.

Today, I want to warn you... I am on a soapbox.  :-D

I love that different people are passionate about different things.  I love hearing people talk or write about subjects about which they are passionate.  Some people are so energetically and aggressively passionate about subjects that I do not understand and about which I really don't care.  Some people get so passionate about things that I wouldn't normally care about... but when I hear their stories behind their passion, I begin to get excited.  I may never share passion for their particular subject, but I enjoy hearing them and get inspired by their stories.

One of my passions is women donating their hair to women and children who suffer from hairloss due to serious illness.  Many people are familiar with the agency LOCKS OF LOVE, which is one such organization... another is called CHILDREN WITH HAIRLOSS.

I understand that many women do not want to deal with the very long hair necessary to donate 8-10 inches of hair.  I also understand that many woman do not want to part with their long hair even when they have 8-10 inches to spare.

Measuring 10 inches

For many years, I thought of myself in the second group of women... I had 8-10 inches to spare, but I didn't want to give it away because I loved my long hair.  And to be fair to me, I didn't really have 8-10 inches to spare -- my hair would have been really short if I had chopped off nearly a foot of hair.

About 5 years ago, however, the Lord changed my heart and impressed upon me the great mission of giving away my hair.

I still did not want to have short hair, so I devised the compromise that I would give away 10 inches of my hair, as long as I still had hair down to my shoulders... that meant the hair would have to get REALLY long before I would give it away, but I was determined to grow it and give it a try.

When I go running and work out with long hair, the long hair
feels REALLY HEAVY!

I was very nervous about growing out my hair to become THAT long -- ten inches below my shoulders.  I was living in hot, humid Nashville at the time and I didn't know how I was going to deal with hair so long.  An interesting thing happened that time, however... the Lord began to impress on me that the hair wasn't mine.

There's enough hair here to share.

The moment of realization happened when someone complimented my hair, and I didn't say it out loud, but in my head I said, "Thank you, I grow it myself."  As soon as I thought those words, I realized how UNTRUE that thought was!!!  I do not grow my hair myself.  I have absolutely NO CONTROL as if and how my hair grows.  The fact that my hair continues to grow, and does not fall out, and is healthy is completely the grace of God.

As I had this revelation and gratitude for my healthy hair, God told me that I would not be annoyed by my long hair because I was growing it for someone else.  This was not my hair to be annoyed by... it was just mine to grow.  I can't really explain it any other way.

My hubby wanted a picture like this

For two years, I was annoyed by my long hair.  I enjoyed it.  I treasured it.  I cared for it -- better than when it was just my own.  I was guarding something that was growing for someone else, and it was a privilege.

When my hair finally did begin to drive me crazy, it was time to cut it, which I did three-and-a-half years ago.

For the past three-and-a-half years, I've been growing my hair for someone else... and this past weekend, the time had come to give it away again.

Last picture with long hair, 2012

I believe that the Lord honors sacrifices... even as trivial as hair.  Chris and I talked about my giving my hair away, we prayed about the timing, and we spent time specifically treasuring and playing with the long hair while it was still on my head.  We both really like my long hair... but we are SO fortunate that my hair is healthy and it grows.

First picture with short hair... see my pony-tail to donate on the left?

Now we get to treasure the season of my having short hair and look forward to the seasons ahead that it gets longer a little at a time.

Now my work-out hair is SO LIGHT!

If you have ever considered giving your hair to a wig-making organization for women and children with hairloss, I would sincerely encourage you to pray about it.

It may be something you've never considered, or you've considered and dismissed for any number of reasons.  The Lord can meet those doubts and reasons and give you the grace you didn't think you have to cope with the months of long hair -- or cope with the months of short hair.

HAIR GROWS!

Have you ever been in close contact with a woman or girl fighting for her life against a horrible medical condition?  Have you ever watched the strength drain and the frustration grow?  After everything the woman or girl has fought... after all the medical indignities... after her body has turned on her... to add insult to injury, her hair begins to fall out.  Your hair can go towards creating beautiful wig for a woman who is fighting for her life.  Your beautiful hair can be shared to remind the girl fighting that she is still feminine and beautiful.

Last Spring, friends and family of mine attended a Bridal Shower for me.  If memory serves, about 15 women attended -- 3 of them were growing their hair out to donate, and 1 woman was fighting cancer and attended the shower wearing a wig.  I was overwhelmed by the selflessness of this group of women that 1/5th of the women present were working toward giving their hair, and 1/15th of the women was a recipient of hair.  We didn't talk about it at the shower... but I was touched by the statistic.  When you donate your hair, it doesn't always go to women far away -- you never know how near to you a woman might be needing hair like yours.

Can you see my short hair?

Please consider donating something you have to spare for someone who is living without.

When I think of hair donation, I think of a quote that many of my friends who have a heart for adoption say --
"I cannot do everything, but what I can do, I will do."

I can grow hair.  I can sacrifice hair every few years.

What I can do, I will do.

Word-Filled Wednesday: Matthew 6:25

Here is my first attempt at adding text to a picture:

I will be leaning on this verse very much in the coming days as today marks the start of the Lenten season.  I will be abstaining from all desserts/sweets and alcohol until Easter at least.

Since Chris and my wedding, we have been in such a love-bubble... but the truth is, that love-bubble has included a lot of food, and some struggle to establish our cooking/eating/restaurant habits.  I have grown into a pleasingly plump little wife and, with the Lord's help, I am hoping to shrink back to the size I was just a few months ago.

Lent is going to be a wonderful season to lean on the Lord, become very aware of all that I am eating, and re-establish some control and normalcy in healthy eating habits in our life.

Thank you, in advance for your prayers as my mind and my body crave sweets.

Happy Ash Wednesday!

I love the Lenten Season -- in so many ways, it is more joyous than Advent because we're preparing for when Jesus willingly gives Himself for the sins of the world and, not only that... but conquering the grave and raising from the dead to promise us eternal life forever!  I'm getting excited just thinking about it!

Praise God, and Happy First Day of Lent!