Friday, August 12, 2016

My Dream Job

I have learned so much since becoming a mother... and especially a mother of three.

My dream has always been to stay home with my children -- plural.  When Hubby and I had Tracey, there was never even a slight consideration that she would be our only child.  We always knew we wanted a big family, and that did not change when we brought home our first baby.

Then, boy did God bless our desire for a large family -- less than two years after we had our first baby, we had two more.  Three kids in under two years.

I cannot stay home with the children 100% full time, as a part of me would love to do... but we are incredibly blessed that I am able to work part-time for my career and be home six days a week.

Being the stay-at-home Mama to three little ones really is my dream-come-true, but this year, I have struggled with the stresses and joys of actually getting my dream job -- staying home with our children.  There are parts of the job that are hard, and there are parts of the job I like less than others and feeling that way made me feel like I was ungrateful for the fact I can be home most of the time.

It wasn't until I heard that a friend of mine had accepted a "dream job" in the field of school social work that I wondered what parts of the job would surprise her and not be as fun as she thought.  I have been blessed enough with great jobs in the field of teaching that I know even the best jobs... or dream jobs still have aspects that are unknown and not fun -- the job can still be your dream job even if you don't like a few things about it.

With that realization, I was able to breath a huge sigh of relief and I felt like a weight and cloud lifted off my shoulders.  I don't have to like absolutely everything about my dream job of staying home with my children... but it is still my dream job.

There are things I never expected that are unpleasant parts of my dream job... and I'm allowed to have parts that I dislike -- it is still my dream job.

When I imagined being a stay-at-home mother to young children, there are many unrealistic things that I imagined -- like the fact I would be wearing pearls and heels and have my hair curled and a perfectly cooked homemade dinner for my family on the table every night at five... but I never in my wildest dreams imagined how tired I would be -- a completely new level of tired so much so that there should be another word for it.  T-I-R-E-D does not adequately describe it.

I am allowed to dislike how incredibly tired I am... I still have my dream job.  And, God created our bodies in such an amazing way, my mind and body really have adapted to the lack of sleep and (when I do get sleep) interrupted sleep I now get on a regular basis... I don't walk around like a zombie... I really can function -- but on nights when one or more child has a rough night -- I am allowed to dislike how exhausting that night and the next day is, and still love my dream job.

There was something so freeing in knowing that I didn't have to love every task, every cry, even every day for this to still be my dream job.  Just like with any job, some days, some moments, some tasks fill my heart with more job than I have ever known and I am learning to embrace, love, and thrive in our daily craziness.  Just because I don't love every messy diaper, or the process of potty training doesn't mean that I am not grateful for my dream job of staying home with my three healthy, wonderful, happy, beautiful children.

I hope that makes sense... I'm watching the Olympics while I'm writing this, and Michael Phelps won his fourth gold medal and has another race in a few minutes... and -- like I mentioned -- I'm tired, so this post might be choppier than normal.

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