Thursday, May 2, 2013

Its Never Enough

I never get enough of my husband.  Sometimes a walk by myself is nice, but in terms of day-to-day living, I can never get enough of my husband.

We are the point in our marriage where things are not always butterflies and rainbows and fairy tales... we live in real life.  We each have good days and bad days and joys and disappointments.  We have things that we would change about each other and we have seen each other in sickness and health -- the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Nearly two years in, we have a real marriage, and we are more in love with each other today than we were on our wedding day.  We know each other better today than we did on our wedding day.  And we still cannot get enough time together no matter how much time we've spent together.

I have to go to a conference this weekend, and I am excited for what I'm going to learn, but I don't want to leave my husband.  I hate sleeping away from him and waking up without him.  I want to sit next to him at the conference, and ride in the car with him, and sleep at the hotel with him.

My need for my husband is like food, or sleep -- I cannot overeat food, or sleep for 24 hours straight and then go without food or sleep for the next week (sometimes I wish I could).  I cannot stock up on time with my husband and then be okay with not seeing him for awhile.  I need him every day.  I want time with him every day.  I want his arms around me every day.

This is currently on my mind because I will be away from him in June, and July, and August and September for a graduate degree I'm not even sure I want anymore.  I am dreading my time away from him, and I wish there was a way to stock up time with him so I need a break come June 1... but that's just not how it works for us.

I know there are couples where one or both of them travels... and I've heard couples say that the time away from each other is what makes their marriage work -- but that is just not the case for us.  Time is never enough with my husband and I am never excited to leave him.  No time with him is ever enough.

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