Friday, April 19, 2013

On My Knees...

I don't spend time On My Knees like I should.

I am not on my knees before the Lord on a daily basis.  I talk to my Father, and I pray before my meals, as I go through my day, but I do not always spend focused, pleading time on my knees like I feel I should.

I find that when the problems of this world overwhelm me, I am driven to my knees.  When something is on my mind, when something is really outside of my control, I am on my knees daily and I pray without ceasing -- when something is on my mind and outside of my control.  I seem to go on my knees, literally, when I'm driven there.


Such is the case this Spring regarding my Orientation and Mobility practicum placements for this summer.  It is complicated, and I might explain the whole thing eventually, but for now, just know that I am hoping and planning to complete 6 of my 9 weeks of required practicum in July and August of this summer.

A month ago, I thought I was set -- July in Nashville, August in West Michigan, and September/October in Austin, TX.  Then, about two weeks ago Nashville canceled my placement -- more people are retiring than they initially thought so they cannot accommodate my needs; then I learned the Michigan placement is not confirmed... it might still happen, but I am supposed to wait to find out.

I have been on the phone nearly every day to camps, organizations, schools and state agencies from coast to coast trying to arrange new summer placements for myself to replace Tennessee and have as a backup in case Michigan falls through.  Unfortunately, all I have to show for it is a notebook full of names, phone numbers and notes to myself about when I left messages and who I should ask for if I call back.

I am to the point in this where this is completely in God's hands.  I am to the point of being on my knees and in ceaseless prayer about this.  The worse case scenario is that I do not finish this degree in the time frame I want to... but I am still completely believe that the Lord will open the perfect practicum door for this summer in His perfect timing.

With every door that is slammed in my face, I am praying with thanksgiving that the Lord has closed that door in order to direct me to the only door that will be open -- if any, when the time is right.  My mom keeps reminding me that even when I feel that I don't have time to be working on this, God has time and is working on it for me.

The peace the Lord gives when I am On My Knees is amazing.  My faith is strengthened, my worries are lessened, and my gratitude for all of my blessings is renewed.
It reminds me of this song by Nicole C. Mullen.

"I don't know how, but there's power when I'm on my knees."

Is something troubling you today?  Will one or more of life's problems not stop rolling around in your head?  I urge you to get on your knees.

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