Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Confirmation

Before Tracey Ann was born there were a lot of unknowns...

One of them was the fact that I THOUGHT I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom... but I never had been before.  What if I didn't like it.  What if I felt isolated and unfulfilled?  What if I was lonely or needing adult interaction?

My mom even had a dream when I was pregnant that, after the baby was born, I was staying home and I was miserable.  It was very scary when she told me... I always knew I wanted to stay home with my babies... but I had never done it, so what if I was wrong.

Since Tracey Ann was born, I have repeatedly continued to have the desire to stay home with her.  Maternity leave was the most wonderful thing -- not because I wasn't working... because I WAS working -- AT HOME!  My 24-7 job was to care for Hubby and Tracey Ann.  I loved it.

Since returning to work, I still live for the days when I am home with our baby girl.

All of these things imply that I am meant to be a stay-at-home mom... but this week, I really just had further confirmation of this.


After baby girl and I flew to Michigan together, drove to Ohio, visited with many family and friends, and were together nearly 24-7 for the past five days... it was INCREDIBLY hard to go back to work yesterday morning.  After five days as a single mama where all responsibility for our princess was on my shoulders, all I wanted was to continue being with Tracey Ann 24-7.

I am very fortunate to have a job where I work with great kiddos, and I am determined to enjoy that blessing for as long as it is the case... but I am also living for the time when I can stay home full-time with our baby as a homemaker.

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