Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Treasuring the Present: They Cry

I have always been a pretty sensitive person.  I have to be careful what types of movies I see, books I read... and more and more, news I receive.

I take stories, true or created, very seriously and if I hear something that upsets me, I do not forget it and cannot get the unwanted information out of my head.

Motherhood has made this worse.  I have to be careful what sort of advice articles I read because sometimes the advice being offered stems from a tragedy where a baby died and the advice is being offered in the hopes the same things won't happen to another child.

All that to say, studies and accounts have proven that babies can learn not to cry.  When an infant, toddler, or child learns that crying is pointless... it gets no one's attention, it does not solve the problem, and it is left unanswered, the baby does not continue to cry.

Numerous accounts of orphans and foster children reiterate this finding and foster parents and adoptive parents have to try to re-teach the child to make his or her needs known.

These accounts absolutely break my heart and I have a hard time reading them without crying... and even now, typing this, I have the overwhelming desire to wake up all three of my children just to hold them close and whisper in their ear how much I love them and that I always want them to tell me when something is wrong or bothering them.

For tonight I will let them sleep, but accounts like these about abused and neglected children really affect me.

My babies cry.

Every day every and all of my babies cry at some point, several times.

I am so glad my babies cry.

This is their form of communication.
They know their cries will be answered.  At four months old, they have learned that crying is effective.  Crying has a purpose.  Crying gets their parents' attention and makes the situation better.

Even our toddler still uses crying as a form of communication.
She has not mastered the English language nor the normal waves of toddler emotions.  At two years old, she knows that crying is a way to express herself and often results in comfort from Mama and Daddy.

Not often, but at times, all three of our children are crying at the same time.  These are not the easiest moments and a mother I have to immediately devise a priority level to the crying children -- who needs immediate assistance, who can wait a minute, and is anyone in pain or danger?  Sometimes the crying is hard to hear.

But the truth is, we're in the season of life where our babies and toddler cry... and I am so glad they do.

1 comment:

  1. Great post, and even better perspective. It breaks my heart to know that there are babies out there that have given up on crying.


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