Thursday, May 19, 2016

A Team

Hubby and I are coming upon our fifth anniversary and as it draws near I find myself thinking about where our life together has brought us and how our marriage works.

Much of it I cannot put into words accept to say, we make a really good team.  We just work.  We fit.  That's not to say its easy... that's not to say its hard... I fumble over my words when I try to describe it... so let's stick with, we make a really good team.

That being said, last night, something happened that made me chuckle and notice how far we have come in our marriage.

Last night, in an effort to divide and conquer the nightly chores at hand, I left the twins sleeping upstairs and went downstairs to discuss with Hubby who and how would be putting Tracey to bed.  Usually this is Hubby's job... and even when I get Tracey ready for bed, actual bedtime really has become a special time for Tracey and Daddy.

So I told Hubby that I wanted to tackle the dishes in the kitchen while he was getting Tracey ready for bed, and could he just keep an ear out for the twins while getting Tracey ready and putting her to bed?  I explained that if I could get these dishes done during the window of his putting Tracey to bed, then I could go back upstairs and be on child-duty the rest of the night.

Hubby hadn't had dinner yet, so he suggested that he do the dishes because he could start his dinner at the same time while I handle Tracey's bedtime.  This surprised me because Hubby hardly ever handles the dishes.  I responded that it sounded great, but that Tracey would still want him to actually put her to bed once I had her ready.  He said that was fine.

I got Tracey ready for bed, and Hubby handled bedtime... in the meantime the twins woke up and after Tracey was in bed, I stayed upstairs for the next hour trying to coax them back to sleep.

After that hour, I went downstairs to get things ready for the next day... only to find the sink still full of dishes.  It was now getting late, and so I said to Hubby, "At this point, do you really want to handle these dishes?"

To which Hubby responded, "You want me to do the dishes?"

With a look of shock on my face, "Well, it was your idea that you do the dishes tonight."

"It was?"

"Yes, you specifically suggested that you would do the dishes because it would let you be in the kitchen to make dinner while I got Tracey ready for bed."


"Yes, really... it was your idea."

"Sure, I can do the dishes."

"Well, Hubby, its not that I need you to do the dishes... I'm not asking you to do the dishes, you suggested, on your own accord that you would do the dishes... this is not my asking you to do the dishes."

At that point a baby started crying and I hustled back upstairs.

One would think after five years, we would have better communication than the above example... but that's really how the conversation went... and its pretty funny.  Hubby had absolutely no memory of suggesting that he do the dishes... and I get so little sleep that I began to wonder if he actually said it.

Had that happened four years ago, in the first year of our marriage, I would not have known how to handle that.  The idea that he would have that idea, say it to me, then not do the dishes, and completely forget that he suggested it would have been cause for a massive arguement in my newly-married world.

Now, its kind of funny.

If it happened all the time, it would not be funny at all... but what happened last night is certainly not worth getting upset.

We're a team.  I usually do the dishes.  I thought I was getting a sub last night.  The sub forgot to show up and handled other aspects of the game instead.  The dishes got done.  We're still a team.

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