Their Names

In my opinion, Hubby and I have a really special marriage.  I love being his wife and I love the way we love and support each other.  We make such a great team... and our life really is a beautiful relationship of teamwork.

There are some things that we have done that I think are a little different than our peers or other married couples, and, obviously, for everyone, to each their own... but I love the way we have done things.

One thing we've done, which I just love involves the names of our children -- not only do we not tell anyone the names of our children before they are born, but we really do not decide until we meet them.

This is made a little more easier by the fact that we keep our baby's gender a surprise until the baby is born.  Hubby's first job as Daddy to that baby is announcing to me, and the whole room if our new baby is a boy or a girl.  I love that I have heard his voice making these announcements for all our children.  For each, his voice has had such joy -- he often gets choked up, and the sound of his voice is the most excited that I've ever heard him.  Each and every time, his voice has such a combination of joy, surprise, delight, pride, relief... its almost impossible to describe, and it is a tone of his voice, I absolutely love to hear.

Coming into each birth of our children, we really have not decided on their names.  In fact, we don't really talk about names much during the pregnancy -- a few times when it is just the two of us, and all of those discussions remain unresolved.  The discussions usually begin around four months, and end with our realizing we will never agree on names... then we revisit the topic again every few months.  Finally, in my last month of pregnancy we have a really great conversation where we come away feeling about 95% sure of the names of the baby we're about to meet... but we have to meet him or her before we're sure.

Because we're not sure of the gender... and we haven't fully decided on the name, we don't tell anyone the baby's name before he or she is born.  I absolutely love that secret that our marriage has shared, now three times.  We are very close to our moms, and I will say, they have each had some idea of names that we have liked, and might possibly be in the running... but we always tell them, they will have to wait to meet their new grandchildren to find out.

And the truth of the matter is, that even when I am days away from giving birth, and I'm running a few possible names through in my head, we really never DECIDE on the name until we have met and held our new baby.

Maybe we think we have a first name... maybe we've tossed around a few middle names... but never know our child's name until we actually NAME our child.

As a result, I don't think we've ever told our families "IT'S A GIRL!" or "IT'S A BOY!" -- instead we introduce them to their new grandchild and they learn, from the name, if its a boy or a girl.

We introduced them to Tracey Ann... and then two years later, to Howard James and Caroline Christine.

Naming our children has not come easily to us... we don't always agree on which names belong in our family, which is why it has been the coolest process of husband and wife to discuss and compromise over months of pregnancy...and take our time deciding on a name... only to culminate in that beautiful birth day when we tell our child his or her name... and he or she is the first one to hear it.

One of us literally says to each other, "Is it Tracey Ann?" "Is it Howard James?" "Is it Caroline Christine?" -- like it is an old friend one of us doesn't quite recognize... and the other confirms -- yes, this is Tracey Ann, Howard James and Caroline Christine.

Naming our children, together, without anyone else's input or knowledge has been one of the absolute coolest parts of our marriage and beginning to our journey as parents.