Terrifying

Hubby and I have some news that I have delayed sharing for weeks.  We have had an offer accepted on a house in Rifle.  We are now under contract and have a closing date set for the middle of October.

This is not only big news, but a tremendous answer to prayer, and a very big life milestone for both Hubby and myself... and yet I have waited weeks to share the news here on my blog for one simple reason -- I was still processing this life changing event.

Not only did I delay sharing the news on my blog, but I have told none of my close friends.  Sure, I told a few acquaintances in town but I did not tell any of my friends who would ask me how I was doing or would be able to read in my voice how thoughtful and not-fully-excited I was about our situation.

It wasn't until last week when I was on the phone with a friend -- not a close, old friend of mine who knows me well, but a mutual friend of Hubby and mine whom we've known a few years and whom Hubby had told we were in the process of buying this house.  She and I were talking and the subject of our new home came up and, of the process and major event she said, "Isn't it terrifying?"

...

...

... And from the moment she said those words, I felt like I could take a deep breath and admit that "YES!  This process is absolutely terrifying!"

I had been feeling so guilty that I was not more excited about buying a home, and I had been an absolute wheel-barrel of emotions for over a week, ready to burst into tears any moment as we learned more and more about the process involved in buying a home.

To hear a friend and peer state aloud how truly scary it was for her husband and her to buy their first home allowed me to exhale and admit that this really is a tremendous responsibility, and a completely new process for Hubby and me, and it is okay to be... well, terrified.

Not only is this a larger purchase than I've ever made, I have never borrowed money like this before, and I have never made a commitment to a location in my life.  After my 18 years in my parents' home in Michigan, I spent some time and RENTED places in Virginia, Nashville, Eagle, and Rifle, Colorado... but nothing has kept me in those places.  I have always known I could up and leave any of those places at the drop of a hat with minimal consequences.

Buying my first home is a truly terrifying process... but it is very exciting... and ever since my friend spoke those words, "Isn't it terrifying?" I have been able to breath easier and admit... yes, this is terrifying... but its also very exciting... and it is okay for me to feel both terrified and really excited.

So, our big exciting news is that, Praise God, we are under contract for buying a home in Rifle, Colorado.

For us this is really big, really amazing, really scary, but fantastic news.

I will keep you posted on how things go.  Thank you for your prayers for us and specifically for God's Will during this process.