Monday, April 27, 2015

Back of the Bottom Drawer

When I was growing up, our television didn't get MTV.  It wasn't that my parents didn't pay for the channel -- our television was so old, it literally didn't get the channel.  MTV was channel 38 or something, and our television only went up to channel 26... or was it 21?

For that reason, the very few music videos I saw in my youth are ones I remember.

I still don't know how I came to watch the video, "Back of the Bottom Drawer," but that song stayed with me ever since.  I only heard the song once, but I remembered the title, the content, and lyrics so well that, I was able to find it on KaZaa (one of the primitive, possibly illegal, downloading sites) eight-ish years later during my freshman year of college.

From the first time I heard this song, I not only loved it, but I knew that it told a story that I wanted for my life.  I was never raised being told that I would meet one man, fall in love, and get married.  I was raised more with the, "you've got to kiss a lot of frogs" and "don't get too serious with this one, there will be other boys" philosophy.

I must have strongly understood that philosophy at age 10, or thereabouts, because when I heard this song, I knew, not only was this song telling a story I wanted for myself, but it was telling a story of the life I was destined to have.

Granted, I wanted my own story -- not hers -- and I certainly didn't want to copy her mistakes... but I made a decision at age 10, or thereabouts, that I was not going to throw away old mementos from relationships despite heart-breaks and break-ups... because someday, I would be happily married, and I wanted to have something at the back of the bottom drawer with tangible memories from the beautiful, adventurous life that led me to my wonderful husband.

The song made sense to me, from that very young age...

"I don't keep these things 'cause I'm longing to go back
I keep them because I want to stay right where I'm at
I'm reminded of my rights and wrongs
I don't want to mess this up
But I wouldn't know where I belong
Without this box of stuff"

Well, I don't need a 'box of stuff' to know where I belong... but it is a sweet reminder of all the experiences, people, and adventures that led me to the blessed and wonderful life I have today.

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