Saturday, March 21, 2015

Her Mom

Some days, I surprise myself when I realize that I am a mom.

How can I be a mom?

I am so many things I don't plan to be when I'm a mom... and I'm so few things that I plan to be when I'm a mom.

I'm still a kid.  How can I be a mom?

Clearly there's been some mistake.  Don't you realize I'm still the same girl I was in high school?  Yeah, I know, "technically" I was in high school 15 years ago... but I'm still that same girl.

There is no way I am actually a mom.

***  ***  ***  ***

Then, I think of my daughter, and I breathe her in, and I feel her little body in my arms, and I see how she looks at me when she reaches up for me to carry her...

I am HER mom.

Of course, I am HER mom.

I make mistakes, and have a lot of learning to do... but she is so forgiving and she is the best thing in my life -- the biggest challenge, and the best thing.

When I think of being HER mom, it is the most natural, perfect thing that has ever been.  All is well, and all will be well when I am HER mom.

***  ***  ***  ***

I'm still a little too nutty to be A mom.

I guess its a good thing I am not A mom.  I am HER mom.

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