Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Rant Alert: Addresses and Emily Post

I have a few pet peeves... actually, I have like a million pet peeves. Different days, different pets are more peeving than others.

Today, my version of a few Emily Post things are driving me nuts.

For example... I get that address labels have changed over the years. It is rare for a wife to receive a letter addressed to Mrs. (Husband's name) Jones/Smith/Martin. Actually, while we're on names, it's pretty rare for a wife to TAKE her husband's last name... it is rare for a wife to call herself MRS. Anything (Jones/Smith/Martin). It is rare for the neighborhood kids to call her MRS. ANYTHING. They call her Shirley - because that seems to be the cool thing - children calling adults by their first names. MAYBE Aunt Shirley. Maybe. What is Shirley afraid of adulthood? That is she is called Mrs. Jones/Smith/Martin she will become her mother-in-law. MY GOODNESS GROW UP! Make the name your own and be proud to take your husband's name!

Okay, actually that was not a pet peeve I planned to write about. I planned to write that I want my letters to come to Miss Brooke Sanden. Now, I understand that not many people naturally address letters that way; HOWEVER, when someone emails me to ask for my address, and I write back "Miss Brooke Sanden PO Box etc. etc.", I think the sender should take the hint that I want the envelope addressed just the way I wrote it: MISS BROOKE SANDEN.

Politically incorrect as it may be, I always address letters to women as Mrs. (Husband's name) Jones - or whatever the last name may be. I fully intend to be Mrs. Whatever to the neighborhood kids. If I'm never a wife and mother, I still fully intend to be Miss Sanden. I can be a little flexible with that - a few kindergartners call me Miss Sand, Miss Sandy, Miss Sandal... and I am totally okay with that. Miss Brooke is unacceptable, Aunt Brooke is unacceptable, and Brooke is COMPLETELY unacceptable. Aunt Brooke will be okay for kiddos who actually are my nieces and nephews - and maybe the kids of friends who are like siblings will be invited to call me Aunt Brooke. But the general neighborhood gaggle - no way!Okay, believe it or not, that was supposed to be one pet peeve above... can you tell these subjects get me a little worked up?

The last pet peeve of the day has to do with weddings. I'm a 26-year-old unmarried female ... almost 27-years-old and I feel any wedding invitation I receive should include "and guest". I realize I am completely alone in this opinion of etiquette -- I looked it up and even Emily Post doesn't address this issue. Basically, I feel that any adult post-college deserves the adult respect of "and guest" on his or her invitation. I can't really explain it but I believe in the courtesy of an escort -- I guess its the Washington and Lee side coming out. As an unmarried woman, I am entitled the option of bringing an escort to a ceremonial event like a wedding. An unmarried man is entitled to bring a date of his choosing to these events. Neither are obligated, but knowing they have the option is a huge blessing.

In my head, I can hear the arguments against sending "and guest" to all the unmarried guests... it can be very expensive, we don't want a lot of strangers at the wedding, I don't know how serious you are about the person you're dating... etc... etc... etc - I don't care. If you don't want a lot of people, don't invite people you haven't seen and/or talked to in the past year. You think you need to know how serious the couple is before you include the date? Why? Because you're getting married and they now need to define their relationship because you're now defining your relationship? For goodness sakes, let your adult guests bring a friend, boyfriend, brother as an escort... its your wedding day - you're going to have other things on your mind.

I'm obviously pretty heated about this too - but I just feel like such an 11-year-old kid whenever I receive a wedding invitation addressed to me, and me alone. To add insult to injury, I'm usually dating someone (and have been dating someone for upwards of 6 months) at the time I receive the invitation.

Then, what makes it worse, is when I think I know the people well enough that they will see eye-to-eye with me on this subject. This family is so classy, I know *sorry, I ASSUME* I'll receive "and guest" - NOPE! I'm still Little Miss No-Date-Invited Sanden.

And what makes matters worse than anything is that I have not gotten married yet. I know how I feel about this issue, but my parents, and especially my dad, are going to have veto-power on most wedding decisions. He could tell me in no-uncertain terms (and after this post, he just might) that my single friends do not get "and date" until they are... whatever engaged, married, forty, who knows.

Okay, I feel better having gotten those thoughts out of my system for the day. I apologize for the length - I guess pet peeves create rants. High quality, illogical rants.Thank you for listening. I'm breathing a little easier now. Time for a relaxing cup of tea.

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  1. I agree completely with you, Miss Sanden :) For our wedding, each person had a guest, and many of the "single" people thanked us for doing that (even if they didn't end up bringing someone).

  2. I completely agree with you!!!! All single people on our wedding invitation list got "and guest" added to it! :) I'm definitely old school in my thinking too.

    To reply to your comment last week on my pregnancy update - a UTI is a urinary tract infection. They can cause contractions and make you think you're in labor. Thankfully I didn't have one! :)


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