Of Three

*** Disclaimer:  I am going to try to keep up with daily blog posts because it is just a part of my routine of how I end my day, and also, I want to document these fleeting precious first days with twins, but I cannot guarantee the quality or quantity of these posts. ***

In a few minutes, I went from a Mother Of One to a Mother Of Three.  That is a crazy jump to make in the span of a few minutes.

Although I was already a Mother Of Three because I had one toddler and two babies I was carrying in pregnancy... I only had one child to hold, feed, respond to when she's upset, dress in the morning, diaper, bathe, and more...

Suddenly, I have three.

Yesterday was a hard day because we thought we were going to be discharged from the hospital but the pediatrician was unhappy with Howard's weight loss and bilirubin level.  Yesterday was the first day I felt the weight of being a Mother Of Three.

I had one baby being set up in a bili light where I was told I could not hold him all day except for feedings.  I had another baby who was doing well, and I held all day instead because I couldn't hold my baby who wasn't doing well.  Much of my morning was spent standing at the bili light trying to soothe Howard while holding Caroline -- more for my benefit than hers.  Then, I had another baby (an older baby, but still my baby) at home in Rifle now going on four days of not having Mama and Daddy at home.  Mother Of Three took on a new meaning, and realistic weight in that moment.

Between postpartum hormones, lack of sleep, and on-going concerns about how each and all of my three children are doing, I have been a little emotional these days.

My dad did a great job of reminding me of how well a lot of things are going during these first days --

• Our twins really are doing well -- these issues we are monitoring with Howard are very normal and very treatable
• Our daughter is healthy and happy at home with Grammie and Papa and they are having a fun and doing well
•  Our twins are still in the hospital -- but it is a hospital 30 minutes from our home, NOT 200 miles away in Denver
• We have my parents here at home taking care of Tracey Ann, and ready to help with the twins as soon as we are sent home
• Chris and I are healthy and have each other and are incredibly grateful for each of our children

These first days of being a Mother Of Three has come with its challenges, but it has come with so many more blessings.