Subtracting One

I posted last week that Hubby took each of our three big kids on individual Daddy Adventures.  That left me at home with three children instead of four, with every date subtracting a different child.  It was very eye opening.

 

Tracey had the first date, which was on a Thursday night.  I brought the twins and Lee Lee home after school.  They quietly played, had a low-key dinner, and were easily put to bed.  It probably helped that they are all pretty tired by Thursday evening.  They played together well.  They are together every Monday when Tracey is at school and I work from home -- it took a few weeks to get the hang of missing Tracey, but now, they play really well together every Monday, so the Thursday night was no different.

On Saturday, Caroline went on her Adventure with Daddy -- she was the hardest one to lose, let me tell you.  Howard and Tracey are both leaders.  Tracey is the head honcho and has always been, but when she is missing, Howard is quick to take over as leader.  I had no idea how essential Caroline is to keeping peace between Tracey and Howard until she was missing.  When each of Tracey and Howard want to play a different game, Caroline is a built in tie-breaker -- whichever person Caroline sides with, they either all play that game, or two will play the game and one is left to by him or herself.  When Caroline is gone, Tracey and Howard actually have to work out compromises as to which games they are playing and who is calling the shots.  Lee Lee just doesn't broker peace the way Caroline does.

Then, Sunday, Howard went on his Adventure with Daddy, and I was home with all three girls.  Lee Lee had been up much of the night vomiting, so I was exhausted, and I was actually able to lay on the couch for some of the morning while Caroline and Tracey happily created their own fort of chairs, blankets, and pillows in the family room.  The three girls played together for hours without my needing to referee.

Basically, I learned that my life is as crazy as it is because of Howard and Tracey.  Take one of them away, and my life becomes a less-intense level of crazy.  Put those two together, and we need all referees in place, all line judges paying attention, and Mama on the top of her game.

That's not to say I would trade either of them for anything because I certainly would not. 

I just love seeing the different dynamics of each of my children with their siblings.  I want my children to be close as siblings... close as a group, that we are a team that hangs together, supports one another, and fights for each other.  But I also want them to have relationships with individual siblings within the big group.  I want individual sibling friendships to grow and develop in different seasons of life.

 

And as I write this, I am keenly aware, that the difference I saw in my children when one child was subtracted... I am about to see a big difference in my children when another sibling is added, in just a few more weeks.