World Breastfeeding Week

Every August I realize through Facebook and Instagram that apparently World Breastfeeding Week is going on.

 Photo by Simply Blessings Photography

 

I was able to breastfeed all of my children until near or beyond their first birthdays, and it was great.

That being said, I've never really felt the need for World Breastfeeding Week.  I scored one free photo shoot last year with Lee Lee and myself because I was a breastfeeding mother (not the one pictured) but other than that, the week is just like any other.

That being said, many women take the chance this week to share their success with breastfeeding.  They share their pride with sticking with it and breastfeeding for some length of time.  They share their struggles but determination to do what was best for their baby and how amazing the triumph feels.  Then, in the next sentence they add a disclaimer that any way you feed your baby is okay as long as you baby is fed.

You know, during Black History Month, I don't spend the month stating how great the Whites in History are.  I have no problem with acknowledging those who are Black and have done great things in history without needing to pacify other races during that month.

When friends of mine cross the finish line for a triathlon, or marathon, they write on social media about how hard the training was and how much support they received from their family and how amazing the victory feels.  They don't they say, "But if you play tennis, you're still a good athlete," or "Don't feel bad if you can't run a marathon, as long as you're healthy you should feel good too."  No.  These athletes have worked incredibly hard for something, and they are taking a minute to acknowledge their hard work and dedication on a day of victory.

Breastfeeding should be no different.  If there's going to be a World Breastfeeding Week, then women would be allowed to take a minute to acknowledge the hard work and dedication and pain and determination to stick with breastfeeding.  They should be allowed to thank the people who supported them and helped make this possible.  They should be allowed to celebrate the victory without pacifying anyone else.

Well done, Breastfeeding Mamas!  Keep up the great work.

 Photo by Simply Blessings Photography

 

Does It Get Easier?

Just about one year ago, Hubby and I became a part of a fun and inclusive group... parents of multiples.

This is a worldwide club that once you're in, you're in... and if you're not in, you're not in.  You either have two or more babies you birthed and are raising at the same time, or you don't.  And if you do have twins or more, you have a lot in common with other parents of multiples.

So, when Hubby and I joined the parents of multiples club a year ago, we often began to notice other parents of multiples, and other parents of multiples began to notice us.  As we struck up new conversations and friendships with these fellow parents (most of these were done through Hubby, as I was home 24-7 with babies, not out making friends), 

we always had one question,

"Does it get easier?"

And they all always had the same answer,

"No -- it just changes."

Well, now I am over a year in with my three little ones... twins and our toddler.  Remember, we went from one child to three -- that's another club of its own, but I digress.

I am excited for that day ahead when we meet new parents of twins and they ask us that same desperate question, because I have a different answer.

Go ahead... ask me.

"Does it get easier?"

"Yes, it does."

It does get easier.

This is not to say that chasing two toddlers, or worrying about two mobile children, or chasing two runners at the playground or baby proofing for two toddlers working as a team isn't still very hard -- it is.  Two babies, two toddlers, two preschool tuitions, two bicycle helmets, two, two, two is our/your new life... but it DOES get easier.

One year ago, I was nursing two babies around the clock separately, and pumping so that each baby could get additional bottles of breastmilk.  We were struggling to make Tracey feel special and loved and important in her new role as big sister given that she was now outnumbered by newborn babies.  My parents were staying with us, and yet somehow with the extra hands no one was sleeping enough.  Simply put, life is easier now.

I nursed our twins exclusively for six months, and their feedings didn't really space out all that much during those six months because they were two growing babies -- they pretty much ate every three hours all day every day, and then about every five hours through the night.  Leaving the house for anything was very difficult for those entire six months, and nursing any location other than on our king-sized bed was very difficult.  Entertaining Tracey while I was nursing every three hours for six months was very difficult.  Simply put, life is easier now.

Today, one year later when I'm nursing the twins twice a day instead of eight times each day, life is easier, simply put, without a doubt, no question, life is easier -- logistically, technically, and practically.  It has changed, and it is still hard to raise twins... but it is easier than those first six months.

In addition, we didn't know our babies during those early days.  Their personalities were still mysteries to us as we held them, rocked them, fed them, changed them, and managed to keep them both alive.  Life is easier now because I know these two little people incredibly well.

I know that both Howard and Caroline are going to make a bee-line for upstairs if the gate is left open.  I also know that they both can climb the stairs pretty well at this point, and if the two of them get a fifteen-second head start on me heading upstairs, they will be okay.  They will also stop on the stairs when they see I'm not chasing them and wait for me.  Then, when they see me coming after them, they will shriek with delight and resume climbing the stairs as fast as possible.

I know that they are both going to start walking any day, and, knowing what I know about them I have predictions surrounding their first steps.

Caroline, I predict, is going to take her first steps when she isn't thinking about it.  She is going to just take off after Tracey or Lexie and not realize that she's walking.

 Howard's first steps, on the other hand, I predict will be perfectly calculated, and I think he thinks about walking every day.  I think he will carefully get his balance, and tentatively try out his walking legs, all with deliberate purpose and concentration.

Life is easier now that I know the little people my sweet babies are -- its easier to be the mom to children I know than it was to newborns I had just recently met.

Parents of multiples -- you will be parents of multiples for the rest of your lives, and you will have different challenges than singleton parents for the rest of your lives... but, parents of multiples with newborns and infants -- IT GETS EASIER!

Hang in there because it really does get easier.

My Letter To Macy's Regarding the Parade

 To Whom It May Concern Regarding The 2015 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade,

I have loved watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade for as long as I can remember.  Now, I have young children who are beginning to also enjoy the parade each and every year.  It is a fun and exciting Thanksgiving tradition for us, now spanning generations, as I know it is for many families around the country.

As I am now "the mom," I am not always able to give the parade my full attention for the duration of its airtime.  Unfortunately, I did manage to catch the Build-a-Bear float and accompanying song in this year's 2015 parade.

I am very displeased and disappointed with the choice of song performed this year on the Build-a-Bear float.  While Sofia Carson looked beautiful and was appropriately attired -- she, initially, appeared as though she would make a good role model for young children -- the parade's target audience -- until her song began.

"Rotten To The Core" is a horrible message to be not only condoning but promoting to children in a most public parade appearance and advertising campaign of the Holiday season.

As a mother, I am appalled that Macy's -- the company that asked the question of American, "Do you believe in Santa?" and now reminds the public that, "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa," and to, "Believe in the Magic of Giving," would want to, in any way be associated, let alone deliver such a message.

Now, instead of campaigns like, "Believe in the Magic of Giving," and songs like, "Its the Most Wonderful Time of the Year," from the parade, I can expect campaigns and songs with messages like, "They say I'm trouble, they say I'm bad, they say I'm evil, that makes me glad"?

I hope you seriously consider the message with which you want to affiliate in the future.  What I take away from the parade this Christmas is that Macy's is changing with the times and encouraging children, 'You don't have to be good -- in fact, be downright rotten, and proud of it.'  This is definitely NOT a message I want my children to hear or receive any time of the year, but most especially headed into the Christmas season.  

I have come to expect better from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and want my children to grow up enjoying the annual tradition as I did.  If these sort of songs and messages continue, my family will no longer be participating in the tradition or taking our business to Macy's.

Respectfully,
Mrs. Brooke Miller

Unfortunately...

A few days ago I saw a pregnancy announcement on facebook where a couple shared that they were expecting twins.  I immediately was feeling a camaraderie with this couple and was excited to watch the video of them sharing the news.

In the video, they presented her parents with a cake decorated with two babies in frosting, sort of like two-peas in a pod.  The parents (now grandparents) were thrilled and shocked to realize the meaning of the images on this cake and kept asking, "Really?," "Are you serious?"

After about a minute of shock, when the grandma again asked, "Are you serious?" the new mother responded, "Unfortunately."

My heart just sank to hear that word come out of her mouth.  Really?  That's what she shared on film for the entire facebook world to see?  It is unfortunate that she is having twins?

I know I am hormonal, but I was heartbroken to hear that, and all camaraderie I was feeling toward the couple immediately vanished.

So, when she looks at her ultrasound, which embryo does she wish hadn't attached?  When her children are born, which is she going to think of as "planned" and which will she consider the "surprise" or "unfortunate" one?

I know I am taking her comment way to literally... but was are LITERALLY talking about a child.  A child who will enter the world and enter a family, and if his/her parents are not excited about his/her arrival, WHO IS?!?!?!

These twins are probably going to watch this video announcement someday, and what are they going to think of that comment?

Sure, I am sure that one day, they will watch the video understand, as adults, what a tremendous responsibility twins are for parents, and understand that the prospect of having twins might be overwhelming.  But there will be a number of years or decades before the twins have that adult perspective where they will probably wonder why Mom thought having twins was unfortunate, and what does that mean about how she feels about us?

Let the record show, from the moment the doctor told us we were expecting twins, Hubby and I were elated.  We have always wanted a big family, we have always wanted Tracey Ann to have multiple siblings.  WE ARE THRILLED!

We also have moments of self-doubt and fear for the big change coming into our life and wonder exactly how we will handle three children in two years... but we are very excited for the challenge and are completely in love with both of our babies on the way -- and their big sister, who is such a joy.

Rest assured, we feel incredibly FORTUNATE to be expecting twins.

My Heart as a Mother

Sometimes I wonder if I have what it takes to be a mother.  I know, it's a little late to wonder, as I've now been one for over a year.

But the longer I am a mother... the more I wonder if I'm cut out for the job.  I don't know if my heart can take being the heart of a mother.

When Tracey Ann was a newborn, we just focused on learning how to keep this precious baby, this life with which we had been entrusted, alive.  I have joked that her turning one year old is such a celebration because we have kept her alive for an entire year -- and people laugh because, of course, it is said in jest... but it also said with a great deal of sincerity.  We are fully rejoicing that all of our mistakes as parents -- all of my mistakes as a mother, and I made many mistakes during that first year, were not fatal mistakes.  It is truly a miracle and blessing from God that our precious baby is one year old, and healthy and thriving.

Now that she is no longer a baby... I mean she is... but she's not, she's a toddler, I'm beginning to see more of the road ahead, and I look at the year behind us, and I wonder... can my heart withstand the joy and pride and discipline and training and growth and turmoils that lie ahead.

I have always cared what is going on in the world -- through wars and terrorists and political policies with which I disagreed -- but I knew the Lord was directing my steps, and my future was with Him in Heaven.  Now, I see the world differently.  Our world, our country, our military, our freedom has to last beyond my lifetime because I now have a child.  When I see horrible things on the news, now I do not just grieve and pray for the situation as I used to... I have within me a very deep smoldering fear about the world in which I have to raise my daughter.

The Bible tells us hundreds of time not to fear... but I really feel like there should be a mothers version, because I have more fears now than I ever knew existed.  I know some will pass... but others might be there forever.

I know I am called to put my faith in the One who loves Tracey Ann more than I do... which I can't even imagine, but God does.  And yet, when I think of the future, when I think of our world so full of evil, I am overwhelmed with emotion in my heart as a mother.

People said being a mother would change my life.  People said there is no love like it.  Some may have even said that it would change the way I see the world... but no body told me what it would mean for my heart to become the heart of a mother.

How's Your Heart?

I am in intense person.  I feel intensely, I cheer intensely, I grieve intensely, I love intensely, and I live intensely.  I'm still not entirely sure how my husband and I work so well because he is a very easy-going, "shake it off" kind of man.

All of my close friends are not close.  That is to say, they live hundreds, and even thousands of miles away from me.  Our means of keeping in touch for years is through sporadic phone calls, facebook updates, texts, and emails.

This means when we actually see each other, which can be once every few years, or once every ten years, we have to make the most of the time together. 

I have found that the best use of our time is to ask one question,
"How's your heart?"

That simple question, "How's your heart?" covers everything.

When I ask "How's your heart?" it includes:

•  How is the health of your heart?
• What is on your mind these days?
• What are you feeling blessed by?
• What are you struggling with?
• How is God challenging you right now?
• What are you hoping and praying for right now?
• What is your greatest joy right now?

When a friend asks me "How is your heart?" I know I am safe in the conversation.  I know this friend is a place where all guard can be dropped and I can honestly confide whatever is going on.  For me, there is no sweeter, of love-filled question than this.

So, How is YOUR heart?

Deep Thought

A deep thought for this Monday:

Why We Chose A Hospital Birth

I am an old-fashioned person.  I often wear skirts, I bake and can, I want to stay home with my child, I am a homemaker, I prefer natural remedies to treat illnesses and, though Hubby and I are in the field of education, we are praying about possibly homeschooling our children.

I don't think any of my friends or family would have been surprised had I told them Hubby and I were planning a home birth for the birth of our first child.  Some of them may have tried to persuade us to change our minds, but I don't think any of them would have been shocked had that been our decision.  A home birth was NOT our decision.  From the very beginning of our pregnancy, Hubby and I both felt led to plan for, prepare for, and carry out, a hospital birth.

I have known many women who have given birth at home, and all of them highly recommend it, but neither Hubby or I felt inclined to follow their recommendations.  The most common endorsements for it I have heard involve how comfortable the women felt, and what a beautiful experience it was.  I don't doubt their word at all; however, we chose a hospital birth, and we were incredibly pleased with our decision.

Hubby and I prepared for labor and delivery through The Bradley Method of childbirth and we attended twelve weekly classes with three other couples.  We were the ONLY couple in our class who was planning a hospital birth.  I think being in the minority helped Hubby and me to discuss a little more extensively the reasons we did feel strongly about having a hospital birth, but we never felt pressured to change our plan just because the other couples were planning home births.

Here are some of the factors that contributed to our decision to plan for a hospital birth:

•  Hubby and I both have incredible respect for the field of Western medicine.  Both my father and Chris' sister are physicians, and we were raised to trust doctors.
• We not only trust doctors to handle medical emergencies, we also trust doctors to first "do no harm" -- we trusted them to let us have an un-medicated birth as our first choice
• We live 25 miles from the nearest maternity hospital... and that hospital is not equipped to handle high-risk situations.  If we planned a home birth, and, God forbid, something necessitated our getting to a hospital, we would have to rush 25 miles to the nearest hospital... and then possibly be sent 100+ miles on to a hospital that could better handle our emergency.  We didn't want all of that time to elapse in the case of an emergency.
• Many people told us that having a home birth does not make a mess, that the midwives have a great system... but we have a hard time picturing that, and it really seems like it would make a huge mess.

Despite Hubby and I being like-minded on wanting a hospital birth, we did our part to educate ourselves and prepare ourselves to be very active participants in the hospital birth scenario, and I think it was our plan, preparation, and research that led to our wonderful, comfortable, and incredibly fulfilling hospital experience.

In the future, I will post how we prepared for our hospital birth, and what made the experience so comfortable and rewarding.

The Michigan Difference

Dear Coach Brady Hoke,

I just need to get a few things off my chest.  I don't want to demand your resignation or turn to twitter (or ESPN, for that matter) to hear all that is going wrong with Michigan... but there are a few things that I need to share.

I love Michigan football, and I stand by Michigan football.  As my Dad always said, I am going to share my thoughts because I care -- if I didn't care, I wouldn't care enough to share my thoughts.

I am a diehard Michigan fan.  I believe in the Michigan difference; in Michigan excellence; in the Victors Valiant; in the Leaders and Best.  I have always stood by Michigan, and I will continue to cheer for Michigan... but it is becoming harder and harder to be so.    I am not a fair-weather fan, but I have not seen the Michigan difference the past few years... and I definitely have not seen Michigan excellence.

I understand when a team has a rebuilding year -- and rebuilding YEAR -- not years, not decades.  In know you had to untangle the mess of that Rich Rodriguez left and establish your own offense and strategy... but, in the last three seasons we have had no outstanding running backs, safeties, or wide receivers.  Or, if we did, we didn't have the offensive or defensive lines to allow them to shine (or score).  The only player who has done anything in your first three seasons was Denard Robinson... and you can't build a team around one player -- the other teams will get his number (which happened), and he will get injured (which happened).

My dog is named Lloyd Carr because Lloyd Carr was the coach during the years I fell in love with Michigan football.  I am too young to remember the Bo Schembechler years... but I appreciate the legacy.  The LEGACY -- Michigan has a LEGACY in football, and it is dieing.  How is it we don't even have a reliable kicker this season?  We TAUGHT Notre Dame how to play football, and they have now decided we are not worth time on their schedule as they try to make their run at the National Championship each year... and they have shut us out -- for the first time in Michigan history -- in the last game we will ever play.  To say the student has become the master seems to be an understatement all of which is beyond unacceptable.  We looked like a high school team on the field against Notre Dame.

I remember when Michigan was known as Quarterback U -- because Michigan was where the pro teams went to get their next quarterback.  I remember the years of quarterbacks Brian Griese, Tom Brady, Drew Henson, John Navarre, and Chad Henne -- all under the coaching of Lloyd Carr.  I did not always agree with Coach Carr's play calling... but he won games, he raised Michigan men, he lead teams that were Big Ten Championship, and National Championship Contenders.  The only quarterbacks you have coached have shown that they may be better wide-receivers than quarterbacks... and yet you have continued to play them as quarterbacks.

I am not yelling for your resignation (I am not yelling at all)... but the team that's playing in Michigan uniforms right now is unacceptable, and it is not their fault.

Rich Rodriguez might have had the talent to lead a Michigan team, but he was not a Michigan man.  He lacked the strength of character and love for the Maize and Blue to coach our young men.  For him, it was three and out.

You might be a Michigan man.  You seem to love the Maize and Blue and value your job of coaching the character of your players.  But, I am not sure that you have the talent, as a coach, to combine the coaching of character with the coaching of football.

The Michigan Difference applies to many things -- not the least of which is that men who play football for Michigan are taught to develop strength of character along with strength of football skill.  To Michigan, these are equally important.

I trust I am not saying anything you don't already know.  You know the team you are coaching is not playing at the level expected of a Michigan team.  I am not flaming mad at you... you just need to know that right now, your best, is not good enough.

I really want to like you, Coach Hoke... but I need to start seeing the Michigan Difference.

Sincerely and Respectfully,
A True Blue Fan

I Love Nursing!

** Disclaimer:  This post is not meant to offend any mother who either could not or did not breastfeed their child.  That being said, forgive me, I am very blessed that I am able to breastfeed, and I am proud to have breastfed, and continue to breastfeed my baby girl.  **

 
Apparently August is Breastfeeding Awareness Month, and I've been meaning to write one or more posts about nursing, so this seems like a great time to share my two cents.

When Tracey Ann was about three weeks old a friend came by to bring us a meal and, among other things, asked me how I liked breastfeeding.  I told her it was fine.  Then she said, "Do people ask you, 'Don't you just love it?'?  People always asked me if I loved it, and I didn't really love it.  I mean, it was fine, but I didn't love it."

I hadn't been asked by anyone if I 'just loved it', so we moved on from the question to discuss other parts of motherhood, but the question stayed with me.

Now, six months later, I can honestly say that I DO LOVE IT.

I always have known that I wanted to breastfeed, and, frankly, I've always known that breastfeeding is not easy.  My mom shared with me from a young age some challenges that she had breastfeeding, and how it took time, commitment, education, and a visit from a lactation specialist for her to successfully breastfeed, but how proud she was for sticking with it.

Postpartum, there was no question in my mind as to whether or not to stick with breastfeeding.  I was not considering it, or thinking that I would see how it went, or I would try to pump so I could sleep while other people fed her, NO -- I had the attitude that breast milk, from my breasts, was all my baby needed to survive and that's the way it was going to be.

I was incredibly blessed in how Tracey Ann and I adjusted to breastfeeding.  I will not say it was easy, because it wasn't, but we did not have an especially difficult situation.  I did, however, make PLENTY of use of the hospital nurses during our two-day stay in the hospital with ALL KINDS of nursing questions.  One night I was calling the nurse in about every five minutes for nursing help.

I used a nipple shield for about the first two weeks while Tracey Ann was learning how to suck (she was tongue-tied at birth, so her mouth had to re-learn how to suck after practicing it differently in the womb), and while my nipples toughened up.  By approximately eight weeks, we had hit smooth sailing.

We used a bottle with breast milk for the six weeks I returned to work before the end of the school year, but come summer, our bottles were put away and she was fed on the breast with little exception.  It was this summer that I can honestly say I fell in love with nursing.

I Love...
I LOVE that my body has produced EVERYTHING that Tracey Ann needs since the moment of her conception.  That is SUCH an AWESOME thought.
I love that my curious, alert, hawk-eyed baby girl settles down, lies still, and nestles up next to me whenever she needs nourishment.
I love that in the process of eating she is held tightly, and I'm the one who gets to hold her.
I love that she is comforted by nursing when she is upset or hurt.
I love that my body needs her as much as hers needs mine -- that is a BOND, let me tell you, like nothing I could ever have imagined.
I love that, even when my diet is not impeccable, breast milk from me is better for her than formula.

I was very fortunate not to suffer any major postpartum depression -- a few emotional highs and lows, but nothing abnormal.  I must say, I wonder if I will be depressed when I stop nursing because I absolutely LOVE it!