What's Going On

I don't really want to write this post, but for better or worse, this blog has sort of become a record and family history of our Hubby and my journey together, so without revealing specifics, I do want to share some of what's going on in our life right now.

Hubby and I received some medical news a few days ago that may turn out to be nothing, and may turn out to be something pretty big.  We are just processing things and praying and making appointments to gain more information and get a firm diagnosis as fast as possible.  That being said, we really don't know anything yet... we just know we need to get more testing done.

So, we've been on a roller coaster the past few days, and Hubby has still been trying to complete graduate work like a madman -- so things are a little stressful around here.

All that to say, a neighbor brought me food last night.  She was very sweet and brought me two big pans of enchiladas and cookies.  It was very very nice of her, but as soon as I accepted the food, the first thought in my head was, 

"Wow... someone is bringing me food... this really must be a big deal and bad news if people are starting to bring me food."

The truth is, most of the time I think I'm fine, and I'm not having trouble trusting God until I say something out loud -- like when I tell Hubby about the research I've done, or tell my parents about a doctor's appointment, and then I get choked up... which is weird because I just read this stuff twenty minutes ago and I had no emotional reaction at all, but now when I'm saying it out loud, I'm getting emotional.

Also, this is the first time that I'm getting calls and texts from family and friends reaching out to me to check in on us.  It is also the first time that I'm feeling the need to turn off my phone at certain points, because I just need a little break from all the other people wanting to talk about this right now.  Sometimes I want to talk -- sometimes I want to ignore the text messages on my phone, cuddle with my kids and watch Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood without thinking about this situation that we don't actually know what's going on yet.

Most of the time, I am not emotional at all because we really don't know the facts yet, and it doesn't make a lot of sense in my head to become emotional when we don't know the facts... at least that's how I feel most of the time... ask me again in five minutes and you might get a different answer. 

So please keep us in your prayers knowing that God knows all of the specifics and so your general prayers for our family are perfect and very much appreciated.