I have been on the fence about this post, but I need to write it.
The words THANK YOU are completely under-used in our society.
I was raised to say Thank You, at some point in practically every conversation. It was so much a part of life and upbringing, and, very naively, I thought it was a part of every decent person's life and upbringing.
At one point, I think it was -- sure, there were certain parts of society that didn't learn the importance of saying "Thank you," but they were in the minority, and it was clear by their words and actions that they were not raised with societal norms and societal decency.
The problem is, now, it is the minority who learns the importance of "Thank you."
You can be raised in a perfectly average or above-average home, with every advantage extended to you, and you will not learn the importance of expressing thanks to your fellow man. If anything, the majority of people are now learning that they are entitled to everything they are given and that "Thank yous" are unnecessary.
Expressing thanks is not unnecessary. In fact, if you ever want a similar action from that person again, "Thank yous" are incredibly necessary.
Unfortunately, 2015 seems to be the year, thus far, of major gifts going unacknowledged with thanks.
Yes, I have now transitioned from discussing the verbal "thanks" to a written "thanks" but, the truth is, people have either been taught to express thanks or they haven't, and this year, apparently Hubby and I have had the opportunity to bestow some very nice gifts, for some very momentous occasions, on people who have chosen not to express their thanks.
And I'm not talking about a scenario where we had a friend over for dinner, and they didn't send a thank you note -- no, in situations like that, a note is definitely not necessary -- now it is incredibly surprising and thoughtful when a note arrives, but no note is necessary.
I'm talking about friends of ours who have engaged in old-fashioned rituals with a very expected ritual of receiving gifts, and who received very nice gifts from us, who have chosen not to, in any way, acknowledge receipt of the gift or express thanks. I'm talking weddings, bridal showers, and baby showers.
Now I know Miss Manners says that a bride, and mother has one year to send Thank You notes -- so I suppose these people are not truly delinquent until early 2016... but the gifts surely did not mean enough to them for them to express thanks in the first 8-9 months that it was received.
In fact, it's enough to make me want to pick up the phone and confirm that the gifts were received.
Now, I know most of the gifts were received because we sent them before the wedding, and then I was able to confirm at the wedding that our gift arrived. Also, a few of the gifts were hand-delivered, by me, to the brides- or mothers-to-be at showers... so I know those gifts were received too.
I don't want to be this way... but I am this way. It simply leaves a bad taste in my mouth for a gift to go completely unacknowledged. Frankly, a thank you note does not have to be well-written for me to appreciate getting it. It can be the worst-written, totally rushed note, for me to read it, with a smile on my face, and think, "That is so nice of them to take the time to send a note. I'm so glad they got the gift."
So, there you have it... my rant on the importance of expressing thanks.
Thank you for reading.
The words THANK YOU are completely under-used in our society.
I was raised to say Thank You, at some point in practically every conversation. It was so much a part of life and upbringing, and, very naively, I thought it was a part of every decent person's life and upbringing.
At one point, I think it was -- sure, there were certain parts of society that didn't learn the importance of saying "Thank you," but they were in the minority, and it was clear by their words and actions that they were not raised with societal norms and societal decency.
The problem is, now, it is the minority who learns the importance of "Thank you."
You can be raised in a perfectly average or above-average home, with every advantage extended to you, and you will not learn the importance of expressing thanks to your fellow man. If anything, the majority of people are now learning that they are entitled to everything they are given and that "Thank yous" are unnecessary.
Expressing thanks is not unnecessary. In fact, if you ever want a similar action from that person again, "Thank yous" are incredibly necessary.
Unfortunately, 2015 seems to be the year, thus far, of major gifts going unacknowledged with thanks.
Yes, I have now transitioned from discussing the verbal "thanks" to a written "thanks" but, the truth is, people have either been taught to express thanks or they haven't, and this year, apparently Hubby and I have had the opportunity to bestow some very nice gifts, for some very momentous occasions, on people who have chosen not to express their thanks.
And I'm not talking about a scenario where we had a friend over for dinner, and they didn't send a thank you note -- no, in situations like that, a note is definitely not necessary -- now it is incredibly surprising and thoughtful when a note arrives, but no note is necessary.
I'm talking about friends of ours who have engaged in old-fashioned rituals with a very expected ritual of receiving gifts, and who received very nice gifts from us, who have chosen not to, in any way, acknowledge receipt of the gift or express thanks. I'm talking weddings, bridal showers, and baby showers.
Now I know Miss Manners says that a bride, and mother has one year to send Thank You notes -- so I suppose these people are not truly delinquent until early 2016... but the gifts surely did not mean enough to them for them to express thanks in the first 8-9 months that it was received.
In fact, it's enough to make me want to pick up the phone and confirm that the gifts were received.
Now, I know most of the gifts were received because we sent them before the wedding, and then I was able to confirm at the wedding that our gift arrived. Also, a few of the gifts were hand-delivered, by me, to the brides- or mothers-to-be at showers... so I know those gifts were received too.
I don't want to be this way... but I am this way. It simply leaves a bad taste in my mouth for a gift to go completely unacknowledged. Frankly, a thank you note does not have to be well-written for me to appreciate getting it. It can be the worst-written, totally rushed note, for me to read it, with a smile on my face, and think, "That is so nice of them to take the time to send a note. I'm so glad they got the gift."
So, there you have it... my rant on the importance of expressing thanks.
Thank you for reading.
I completely agree, and I'm totally guilty of not getting all of my thank you cards out from the baby shower for Levi. I have had them written since Easter, but with everything that happened after that, I haven't taken the time to sit down and put addresses on them and get them in the mail. Thank you for reminding me and for keeping me in check. I'm sorry and I will get them in the mail soon. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are so right. And while people are being taught to say, "Thank you," I wish they were also taught to say, "You're welcome." The response of "No problem" as an alternative grates on me.
ReplyDelete