Nervous... and Normal

So I haven't done a pregnancy update in awhile, mostly because I keep forgetting to have Hubby take a picture when I look nice -- or at least somewhat presentable.

I am 27 weeks along, and am less than a week from starting my third trimester, which is crazy to me, especially since I have never carried a baby to my due date.  Tracey was nine days early, the twins were almost 3 weeks early.  Maybe I'll carry this baby to 40 weeks or beyond... but I plan to be ready in about ten weeks just in case.

The truth is the past week has been a little crazy what with arriving back from vacation, trying to settle back in, and Hubby running security for a nearby fair and rodeo for five days.  In that week keeping up with the little ones has been tiring and the knowledge that a new baby will be here soon has been nerve-racking.

Tracey is just three-and-a-half (as of yesterday), the twins are one-and-a-half, and everybody still needs a lot of love, supervision, and guidance.  None of that is going to change in three months and with a new baby in the house I imagine our three oldest children will require even more love, supervision, and guidance.  I don't know how that's going to work.

But, this week as I began to feel more and more nervous about having a new baby, I realized that on the verge of my third trimester carrying Tracey, I was probably pretty nervous.  And, on the verge of my third trimester carrying the twins, I was definitely pretty nervous.

It is okay that I'm feeling nervous right now about adding a new baby into our family.  Just because this is my fourth child does not mean it is suddenly easy or no big deal to have a baby.  Our entire family dynamic will change forever with the addition of this new sibling, just like our family dynamic changed when the twins were born.  That fact that I'm nervous about it means that I know its a big deal -- which it is.

The truth is, we have approximately another ten weeks to prepare for the baby, and we will excitedly welcome the new baby when she arrives -- then we will figure out how to love, supervise, guide, and manage four children.  Being nervous just means something big is on the way, and something is, so being nervous is perfectly normal.  Knowing it is normal, makes me feel better.