Anticipation...

One week from today, I will be in Austin, Texas ready to start my final Orientation and Mobility practicum experience.

As I think ahead at this week, I am completely torn.  I am trying to be excited for all that I am going to learn, and the fun I am going to have.  I am trying to be excited for a few weeks off of my normal job, and in a completely new place.  I am heartbroken at the idea of being away from my husband, and it is A LOT of work to prepare my students and my job to be away for that time.

I go from being sort of excited about some things planned, to bursting into tears.

Points About 3 Weeks in Austin That Make Me Burst Into Tears:

1. Three weeks AWAY from my hubby -- this is going to be the longest we have ever been a part -- even longer than we were a part when I was in Tucson.  I leave on a Saturday, and return on a Saturday -- so its 3 full weeks away.  Tucson was a Sunday to a Friday.
2. Three weeks away from my critters.  No dog, no cat, NOTHING to greet me when I walk through the door.  Nothing to cuddle and pet at the end of the day.
3. A new school to learn; new teachers to work with; a new area to learn
4. More grad school assignments to do
5. No vehicle in Austin -- if you're reading this and you have a car I could borrow for three weeks while I'm in Austin, PLEASE let me know.  I would be very grateful.
6. Trying to keep track of my Colorado job WHILE I'm in Texas and working full time as an O&M teacher.
7. Austin is hot right now.  Not quite as hot as Tucson, but I don't have very much summer maternity gear... and Austin is really hot right now.
8. Hubby and I have a hard time finding time to talk on the phone when we're both working.  When we don't talk on the phone frequently, I start to make sure that when we do talk, we have arguments instead of conversations.
9. I will miss the physical contact of marriage -- holding hands, a hug hello, a kiss goodbye, and hubby rubbing my belly as it grows.

Points About 3 Weeks in Austin That Make Me Excited:

1. My best friend and maid-of-honor from our wedding lives in Austin and will be less than a mile from where I'm staying.  Kelley and I have not lived in the same town since her Sr. year (my Jr. year) of college at W&L
2.  THIS IS MY LAST, MY LAST PRACTICUM PLACEMENT!!!
3. When I am done with this placement, I AM DONE WITH THIS CERTIFICATION!
4. Kelley and I are making arrangements to see a University of Texas football game, and possibly a Baylor football game while I'm there.
5. Kelley has a church home in Austin, and so I will be able to jump right into her fellowship instead of having to attend church without anyone I know.
6. The school where I will be studying and teaching in Austin produces the majority of the research in this field, and I will have such an opportunity to learn while I'm there.
7. I have friends that live in Dallas, Texas, which a few hours away from Austin.  I will not have a car, but I am hoping they might come see me while I'm just a few hours away.
8. Austin is such a fun city, and I will get a real chance to enjoy three weeks there, with a real local before I have a baby.

I am really trying to focus on the exciting, positive parts of my time away, but it is really hard to be excited to leave my husband.  We're not talking about a long weekend, or a week -- three weeks is a LONG TIME.

I know this is a wonderful opportunity for me.  And I know that Hubby and my marriage is strong enough to survive three weeks a part... but there is a reason I married him.  Life is better WITH him than it is without him.

All of these thoughts and more are running through my head this week, as I prepare for, and anticipate my departure.