Pride and Victory

Last night the enemy was attacking me with lie after lie about my identity, my purpose on earth and my frequent failures. In the middle of a messy and tearful journal entry, I turned on the radio knowing that at least musical praise and positive radio djs would help fill my spirit with praise and combat the bombarding lies. At such a fertile and pivotal moment of my thoughts and writing, the Lord's wisdom and answers came through the dj reading a poem on the radio.

I had just written the following:

"Lord, I believe Your ways are better than my ways and Your thoughts are higher than my thoughts, but who am I? Why am I here? Has my life done anything? Am I any more than filling space?"

Answer:

"My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
I cheat you of your God-given destiny...because
you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment...because you
'deserve better than this.'

I cheat you of knowledge...because you already
know it all.

I cheat you of healing...because you're
too full of me to forgive.

I cheat you of holiness...because you refuse to
admit when you're wrong.

I cheat you of vision...because you'd rather look
in the mirror than out a window.

I cheat you of a genuine friendship...because
nobody's going to know the real you.

I cheat you of love...because real romance
demands sacrifice.

I cheat you of greatness in heaven...because you
refuse to wash another's feet on earth.

I cheat you of God's glory...because I convince
you to seek your own.

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.

You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you.
Untrue. I'm looking to make a fool of you.
God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...
If you stick with me
You'll never know."

This poem was read on K-LOVE radio and I immediately looked it up on the Internet and found it here, a part of Living Proof Ministries. The words spoke to me so powerfully that I re-worded a few stanzas that I particularly needed to ponder and pray about so that they are more convicting for me.

• Because I demand my own destiny, I ignore my God-given destiny.
• Because I believe 'I deserve better than this,' I refuse contentment.
• Because I cannot forgive, I refuse healing.
• Because I look at myself rather than the needs around me, I am blind to vision and purpose beyond myself.
• Because real romance, earthly and heavenly, is work, I refuse love.
• Because I try to promote myself, I prevent God from claiming glory from my life.

After praying over each of these heart-wrenching truths, I found the following song from my lips, heart and spirit:

"It's all about You, Jesus,
and all this is for You,
for Your glory and Your fame,
It's not about me,
as if You should do things my way;
You alone are God and I surrender
to Your Way."

I hope you are similarly blessed by this poem and revelation.

Photo borrowed from young ladies christian fellowship